Okay…Spring may not be here to stay - but it’s stopped by for a visit. Unfortunately, unlike relatives over the holidays, it’s not staying long. Regardless, I’m proudly putting on my black socks and sandals. (A great look anytime of the year!)
*****
Police in Connecticut arrested a 71-year-old woman on prostitution charges.
- This finally explains why they call it “The World’s Oldest Profession”.
- She puts the “Walker” in Street Walker.
*****
A Pennsylvania man was buried with a Burger King Whopper after his funeral procession stopped at the drive-up window.
- His ex-wife showed up during the eulogy and yelled, “It should have been a Whopper Jr.!”
- In a similar story, another man was buried at sea…along with a McDonald’s Fillet ‘O Fish.
*****
Arnold Schwarzenegger will be giving a series of motivational talks in Australia.
- Well he’s certainly an expert of things “Down Under”.
- He’s really trying to clean up his act. Wait…doesn’t he have a maid for that?
*****
It’s estimated that the family dog is the cause of at least 150 family arguments a year.
- Most of which begin with the words “It wasn’t me…”
*****
In an interview with NBC, country singer Mindy McCreedy denied shooting her boyfriend to death.
- You can hear all about it in her new song “I Didn’t Shoot My Boyfriend To Death”.
*****
Ashton Kutcher was hospitalized after going on a fruit-only diet while preparing for a movie role where he plays Steve Jobs.
- I thought an Apple a day was supposed to keep the doctor away.
- He was so dehydrated, EMT’s immediately put in an iV.
*****
On this day in 1933 the radio series “The Lone Ranger” made its radio debut. The program originated on WXYZ radio here in Detroit. (I worked there from 1968 to 1978).
- The Lone Ranger and his “faithful Indian companion” Tonto, got along well…except they disagreed about the country’s immigration policy.
*****
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick