A Bombshell article in the Wall Street Journal revealed that Joe Biden was mentally unfit for office basically from Day One… and that aides and staffers rearranged his schedule and actually “scripted” the Presidents meetings with key officials to keep up the charade.

-So you mean he WASN’T running circle around his Press Secretary like she told everybody in the briefing room?

*****

The Teamsters said workers at seven Amazon facilities are now officially on strike.

-The workers want their demands met and delivered to their front porch in two days or less… and if they don’t like them, they can return them to their choice of Whole Foods, Staples, or Kohls… Free of Charge!

*****

According to a new study, “Shake Shack” received the largest number of complaints for being the most overpriced fast food restaurant in America.

-They didn’t lower their prices or anything… but they want you to know they their the ones who got the most complaints.

*****

According to a new study, dangerous bacteria still slips through trendy antimicrobial showerheads.

But that’s nothing compared to what gets voted into Congress.

*****

New York Governor Kathy Hochul announced that hundreds of National Guard members will patrol the New York City subway system this holiday season.

They’re kind of like Christmas Carolers, except they wear Uniforms and carry Guns.

*****

The FBI is warning New Jersey residents not to shoot down drones.

-They’re asking the public to focus on more tradition Holiday activities… like shooting each other.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Monday… Christmas Eve, Eve!

-Dick

Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas urged Congress to allocate more money for the Feds to track the mysterious drones up and down the east coast.

-So Congress immediately put in a called Zelensky in Ukraine to see if he maybe he can send back a few BILLION Biden’s the last month or so.

****

With Christmas just one week from today, lots of us are shopping for our last minute gifts!

In fact after the House suggested the DOJ look charging her for her actions during the J6 investigation yesterday… I heard Liz Cheney is going “Pardon-Shopping” today at the White House!

*****

Singer “Jelly Roll” - who tipped the scales at more than 500 pounds at his heaviest in 2015, says he’s lost a whopping 100 pounds in 2024 and he’s not stopping there. The “Need a Favor” singer says he wants to lose enough weight to be on the cover of Men’s Health magazine.

-Good for him! But if this keeps up he may have to change his hame from “Jelly Roll” to “Protein Bar”.

*****

Former New England Patriot’s Coach Bill Belichick’s decision to take the North Carolina Tar Heels job came as a shock to many around the professional and college football world… but his 24 year old girlfriend Jordon Hudson is said to be “very supportive”.

-Well, duh. This will make it so much easier for her to get to class!

*****

A new study about American’a Christmas habits found that 47% of people would prefer to spend the whole day in their pajamas rather than getting dressed for the day.

Which is all well and good if your family actually WEARS pajamas… but NOT so great if you’ve got a relative who likes a to sleep “In the Buff”….. 🤯

*****

A plumber working at an elementary school in Virginia, found an original “Heathcliff the Cat” lunchbox that had been left behind by a student more than 40 years ago.

He said the lunchbox was rusty… but the Peanut Butter Sandwich that Jimmy’s mom had packed inside was smooth, creamy & delicious!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

During a wide ranging press conference Monday, Prez-Elect Trump said that President Biden and the Federal Government know what’s going on with the Drones in New Jersey and other states but are refusing to be honest with the American People.

And that might be the most honest thing we’ve heard from anyone in Government in the last four years.

*****

Thanks to a new law that just went into effect, Pet Shops across New York are now banned from selling Dogs, Cats, and Rabbits.

But if you go to Time Square, you still have plenty of chances to see people relieving themselves on the sidewalk!

*****

ABC News host George Stephanopoulos ignored the news about his network’s massive $15 MILLION settlement with President-elect Donald Trump on his Sunday show. ABC News had to cough up $15 million bucks thanks to George’s comments.

Trump really cut George down to size. Which really wasn’t that hard considering George is only like 5’ 2” to start out with.

*****

A new survey finds that 78% of U.S. citizens strongly or somewhat support mandatory Nutrition Education in Public Schools.

-How bout we start with putting mandatory Education in Public Schools and go from there??

-When kids think Egyptians built the Food Pyramid… you know somethings gotta give.

*****

Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes is considered “week-to-week” after injuring his right ankle.

Which, Ironically is exactly how Hollywood insiders are describing Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift’s relationship now that the Election is over.

*****

With the 25th just a week away… I wanted to let you in on a little treat to put you and your family in the true Spirit of Christmas! There’s a young lady I’ve told you about before - Lia Lucci. She’s from right here in Metro Detroit, she’s got an incredible voice… and she’s put out a Complimentary Christmas Album featuring 5 of her favorite Christmas songs. “Christmas with Lia” is available for download on all your favorite platforms including Spotify and Apple Music. I’ve met Lia - who is 12 - and heard her perform in person - and trust me - Her voice will help make the season bright!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

The Lions lost a hard fought game against the Buffalo Bills last night 48-42 at Ford Field. That’s a collective 90 points between two first class teams… and and an impressive showing for the Lions who had many players on the IR list. Once again, a tough one for me… Born and raised in Buffalo. Lifetime in Detroit.

Go….. Both? 🏈🏈

*****

Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas continues to insist that the US Government doesn’t know who or what is responsible for hundreds of mysterious “drone” sightings in New Jersey and other states… but at the same time - says there’s no cause for concern.

Really??

This is the same guy who told us the border was “Secure”, right???

*****

Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi underwent hip replacement surgery Saturday after falling during a congressional delegation trip to Luxembourg.

Unfortunately Nancy may end up spending Christmas in Europe as all the flights back to the States are booked and her Broomstick is in the shop.

*****

Former CNN host Don Lemon blasted Time Magazine as a “joke” after revealing President-elect Donald Trump as their Person of the Year.

I’m sure Jussie Smollett will be “Person of the Year” in 2025, Don. 🍋🤪

*****

A new survey finds many workers leave plenty of vacation days unused each year.

Question: How do you know if it’s a vacation day when you work from home??

Isn’t everyday a vacation day when you’re not wearing pants? 👖

*****

The Idaho man who holds the most concurrent Guinness World Records added another title to his name by donning a Blindfold and performing 41 Pickleball serves in one minute.

-Am I the only one in America who’s never played Pickleball? Is it a real sport? Is sounds like something you play at Family Picnic when you forgot the Frisbee.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

Five months after he was nearly assasasinted on the stage in Butler, PA… President Elect Donald Trump has been named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year for 2024.

Not to be outdone…. after the election results, the people over at “Wine Enthusiast” named Kamala Harris, “Taster of the Year”.

*****

Bill Clinton visited the ladies of “The View” yesterday and floated the idea of President Biden giving his wife Hillary a Preemptive Pardon before Joe leaves office - although he was quick to point out that - of course - she hasn’t done anything wrong.

Well of course not!

If - she did - have to serve time someday - Bill says he hopes it’s somewhere “Nice, Low-secuirty - and with absolutely no chance of Conjugal visits”. 😂

*****

Animal rescuers in Virginia were able to a free Large Owl who had become tangled in a bunch of fish netting that had been thrown into a tree.

-Not trying to be difficult here, but if Owls are so “Wise”…. How’d he get himself caught in the netting?

*****

Huge mystery in New Jersey as hundreds of Drones - the size of SUVS - have been taking to the skies everynight for the last month. People are panicking… but Pentagon officials say there’s no evidence the drones are “From a Foreign Adversary” although they admit they have “No idea who is operating them or why”.

- Question: Are we living in a Country or a Cartoon?

*****

Remember that Las Vegas man who was captured on video leaping over a courtroom bench and desk and attacking a judge earlier this year?? Well he was just sentenced to serve at least 26 years behind bars.

-Pay attention kids: If you don’t want the judge to throw the book at you… don’t throw yourself at the judge.

*****

Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow’s became the latest high profile athlete to have his home burglarized. The QB’s house was broken into while Cincinnati was busy taking down the Dallas Cowboys on “Monday Night Football.”

Haven’t seen an athlete robbed like this since… Dennis Rodman lost the Prettiest Wedding Dress Competition to a Woman back the 90’s.

*****

According to a new poll, 52% of grown adults who are going home for the holidays plan to get frisky in their childhood bed.

-And that number goes up significantly if you include people who have partners.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

Luigi Mangione, the suspect in the United Healthcare CEO murder, began shaking when cops approached him at a McDonald’s in Altoona, Pennsylvania.

- Not because he realized he was caught... turns out he'd just ordered a McFlurry and the McDonald's Ice Cream Machine was down again.

*****

Congrats to Taylor Swift who wrapped up her record breaking 2-Year Long “Eras” Concert Tour Sunday night… Taylor performed 152 shows on 5 continents over 2 years… Performed in front of more than 10 MILLION “Swifties” and made more than $2 BILLION.

- Imagine how much she can make if they raise the minimum wage.

*****

Taylor didn’t keep it all for herself… She gave a whopping $197 million in bonuses to the performers and crew on her Concert tour.

And to think I was feeling pretty good about tipping my Barber an extra $5 - you know, cuz it's Christmas!

*****

According to a new study, nearly 33% of adults living in Chicago carried a concealed firearm by age 40.

The official name for them is: “Late Bloomers”.

*****

The Golden Globes nominations are out with the most nods going to the film "Emilia Pérez," The movie - described as a Musical-Drama - tells the story of a Mexican drug lord who quits the biz and undergoes sex-change surgery in order to become a woman.

- Just wait til you see how Annie Gets Rid of Her Gun. 🤪

*****

RIP... George Joseph Kresge Jr., famously known as The Amazing Kreskin, has died. He was 89.

Inspired by the crime-fighting comic book character Mandrake the Magician, Kresge launched his television career in the 1960s and remained popular for decades, making guest appearances on talk shows hosted by everyone from Merv Griffin to Johnny Carson to Jimmy Fallon.

RIP... Nine-time MLB All-Star Rocky Colavito has passed away at the age of 91. No cause of death of given.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Prez Elect Trump used a rather nice pic of him and Jill Biden at the reopening at Notre Dame this weekend for a tongue-in-cheek launch of his new fragrance "Fight! Fight! Fight!” The two gaze at each other in the photo with the line: “A Fragrance Your Enemies Can’t Resist”. ($199 but already SOLD OUT)

-It was a nice change from what Jill’s used to… “Pardon! Pardon! Pardon!… The Scent Your Step-Son Demands” -From the Hunter Biden Collection.

*****

Yesterday, Police in Pennsylvania arrested the alleged shooter of the United Healthcare CEO… 26 year old Luigi Mangione was eating at a McDonalds in Altoona, Pennsylvania was spotted by an eagle-eyed employee who called 911. Although it had been 5 days, Mangione was still wearing the same clothes, had the gun he used in his pocket, and was carrying a copy of his “manifesto”.

-Boy that was quick. Hard to believe in the 80’s we waited an entire summer to find out who shot J.R.

*****

The FBI had been offering a $50,000 reward for information related to the murder of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson.

Of course… to qualify for the reward… first you had to meet your deductible for rewards on other murdered CEOS first.

*****

According to a new study, drinking hot cocoa can wipe away stress better than fatty comfort foods.

-Espcially if you dip a a bacon-double-cheeseburger in it.

*****

Critics of Elon Musk say the co-chair of the newly created Department of Government Efficiency is spending “too much time” with Prez Elect-Trump and that it’s “creepy”.

You’ve heard of “Elf on the Shelf”? Think “Elon on the Celing”.

*****

According to a new survey, 61% of shoppers say the Holiday Season is “Financially Terrifying”.

-If you think December is bad… wait until, “Credit Card Statement January”…

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

BREAKING NEWS… MARINE DANIEL PENNY FOUND “NOT GUILTY”…

Only took the Manhattan jury one hour to return Unanimous verdict on lesser charge after the Judge dismissed the Manslaughterr charge on Friday. It was a highly controversial case that many say never should have been brought in the first place. Penny was on a Subway when Jordon Neely - a homeless man - began threatening other passengers (including women and children) saying he didn’t care if he went to prison for the rest of his life. Penny restrained Neely until Police arrived. Neely later died… but there were MANY extenuating circumstances. Jury did not believe Penny’s actions caused Neely’s death and believed Penny was justified in acting in his and others Defense.

Protests outside courthouse…

Also Just In… Police in in PA believe they have arrested the suspect in the shooting of the CEO of United HeathCare Stay tuned…

*****

One of only 4 pair of Ruby Slippers Judy Garland wore while filming The Wizard of Oz sold for $32.5 MILLION at auction over the weekend… making them the most expensive piece of movie Memorabilia in Hollywood history.

-Also… the most expensive shoes at this weekends DSW Pre-Chistmas Shoe-Sale.

*****

Denver has been named as one of three finalist cities to host the 2030 Gay Games.

The other cities in the running: Keister, West Virginia and Bangor, Maine.

*****

According to a new report, 94% of federal employees do not report to work regularly. And the 6% who do… aren’t happy about it.

-If you don’t believe me… Look at the lines at your local Secretary of States office.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

It’s National Bathtub Party Day! So grab your Rubber Ducky and Dive In!

*****

Didn’t get much attention… but a major Congressional Report came out this week proving that all the so-called “Conspiracy Theories” about Covid were actually true. Turns out, the Virus most likely come from a lab in China, there’s no evidence masks actually work and the 6’ social distancing rule was literally made up out of thin air.

-But other than that… the whole Pandemic thing was handled strictly by-the-book. 🙄

*****

The Oxford University Press has named “Brain Rot” as the “Word of the Year”for 2024.

In related news… the Oxford University Press has been named “Dumbest Publication of the Year” for not realizing that “Brain Rot” is TWO WORDS.

*****

A growing storm has millions of people from the Upper Midwest to the mid-Atlantic and Northeast preparing for dangerous winds and potential blizzard conditions.

- CNN is calling it “Climate Change”.

I call it… “Winter”.

*****

A new photo from the set of the sequel to “I Know What You Did Last Summer” has been released by Sony Pictures.

-I think what we all want to know is what Diddy did last summer… and who he did it with… and that’s all going to come out when Trump releases the list come January.

*****

A Bulldog named Bruno is back with his family in California after turning up more than 400 miles from home at a shelter in Oregon.

-Turns out he wasn’t lost… Bruno actually moved to Oregon because he couldn’t afford the mortgage on his Doghouse in California anymore.

*****

The LPGA… The Ladies Professional Golf Association - has updated its rules to BAN players who were born Male and have undergone hormone treatments to become female from competing in the Ladies League.

-That’s really gonna Tee some guys off. Or is it ladies? I’m not sure at this point…

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!~

-Dick

King Charles is excluding Prince Harry & Meghan Markle from Christmas at Buckingham Palace again this year… as he feels son and daughter-in-law make “too many demands”.

For example, Harry requested that his family members get extra security while in England and Meghan demanded that she be lit up and placed as the Star atop of the Palace Christmas Tree.

*****

According to its post-election analysis report released this week, The US Postal Service handled at least 99.2 ballots during this year’s general election season,

-And you should be receiving those ballots early next week!

*****

A new survey claims that most workers are fine with a simple “thank you” from their boss around the holidays.

-And so…in that spirit , (and in Lieu of the significant Christmas Bonus I’d planned to give her) I’d like to extend a heartfelt “thank you” to my daughter Jackie who works on this blog with me each day. 😂😂😂

*****

An Ohio woman who killed and ate a cat has been sentenced to a year behind bars.

-The local cat community is understandably outraged as that only comes out to 1.3 months for each one of the Cat’s 9 Lives that were taken.

*****

A Japanese bank has come up with a bizarre way of reassuring clients of its commitment – promising to pay with their lives if found guilty of “financial irregularities.”

I can see their slogan now: “The Bank of Japan: If You Don’t Make a Killing… We Will !!!”

*****

Daniel Craig - star of 5 Bond films - says 2008’s “Quantum of Solace” which was largely panned by critics, was an “effing nightmare” with a terrible script.

-Craig says he was “shaken” by the experience but didn’t say anything at the time because he didn’t want to cause a “stir”.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

A Chinese Crypto Tycoon caused a stir in in the art world on Friday - when he purchased an unusual “Work of Art” - a fresh Banana stuck to a wall with a piece of duct tape - priced at $6.2 MILLION. Things got even more outrageous when the man then took his $6.2 MILLION Banana off the canvas… and ate it.

This must be why they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Or did they say, the stomach?

Spending $6 MIL on a Banana doesn't sound like a very appealing investment to start with.

*****

There’s new video sweeping the internet of a 70 year old HHS Secretary nominee Robert F. Kennedy Jr. showing off his muscles during an intense workout.

-I point this out - only because I didn’t want anyone to confuse it with the video sweeping the internet of ME showing off my muscles during an intense workout. 😂😂😂

*****

Canadian PM Justin Trudeau flew to Mar a Lago to meet with President-Elect Trump over the weekend and those at the meeting say it was “interesting”. They said Trump joked that if Trudeau is not willing to step up, he’ll make Canada the “51st US State”.

-I’m good with that but only if we can make HOCKEY our NATIONAL SPORT!!!!!

*****

In his new Memoir, “Citizen: My Life After the White House” Bill Clinton says he wishes he’d never met Jeffrey Epstein.

Not because he thinks Jeffrey was a bad guy… but because meeting Jeff took up valuable time he could have spent with the ladies.

*****

U.S. News and World Report found that 68% of Americans are worried about having enough money to pay for gifts this year.

The other 32% aren’t worried about paying for gifts… because they’re just going to “loot” them.

*****

Now available… Just in time for the holidays… ceramic collectible figurines from “The Nightmare Before Christmas”

In the old days… the nightmare was realizing you dind’t have enough batteries in the house for all the toys under the tree. Nowadays…. it’s realizing you don’t have enough charging cords for everybody’s phones!

*****

Prayers and good wishes going out to Elton John... The 77 year old Rocketman announced that he has lost vision in one eye and can barely see in the other one - after he suffered an infection over the summer. He says he can't really see anything at this point... and hasn't been able to write any new music. Stay tuned…

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

Last night, President Biden Pardoned his son Hunter for any and all possible crimes he may have committed between 2014 and yesterday… basically giving him a blanket Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card for 11 YEARS worth of potential crimes.

-And we know from the laptop the media ignored that Hunter “donated” to a bunch of “Community Chests”.

-Maybe Joe was right after all. The way this all worked out… Hunter may actually be “the smartest man he knows”.

*****

Michigan and THE Ohio State have been fined $100,000 each after a brawl broke out following the Wolverine’s 13-10 victory over the Buckeyes.

Is it just me or do you agree Ohio State should be charged double that for the whole “THE” Ohio State thing??

*****

The FBI is warning shoppers of holiday scams as Cyber Monday sales kick off today.

-They recommend making sure you only shop from verified, reputable websites - so when you’re bank account ends up drained - at least you’ll have something to show for it!

Case in point… I ordered a pair of shoes from what turned out to be a Chinese-owned website. Everything seemed fine - the problem was the shoes arrived three sized too small. I couldn’t figure out how to exchange them for the right size since I don’t speak Chinese. (I knew I should have take it in High School) And I didn’t even get soup and and an Egg Roll.

*****

In his new Memoir, “Citizen: My Life After the White House” Bill Clinton says he wishes he’d never met Jeffrey Epstein.

-Not because he thinks Jeffrey was a bad guy… but because meeting Jeff took up valuable time he could have spent with the ladies.

*****

U.S. News and World Report found that 68% of Americans are worried about having enough money to pay for gifts this year.

-The other 32% aren’t worried about paying for gifts… because they’re just going to “loot” them.

*****

A ritzy Los Angeles shopping mall is charging parents $165 dollars for their kids to see Santa Claus.

-Hey… It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. Nobody Said it was the Cheapest.

*****

As many as 125 trains were delayed in the South Korean capital of Seoul after a train operator took a four-minute toilet break.

-Imagine if he’d been having problems with his Caboose!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tueday!

-Dick

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

No Blog today as I’ve got too much to do! I’ve got Pototoes to Baste, Turkey to Mash, and a Pumpkin Pie simmering. Oh who am I kidding? I’m responsible for setting up the tables and chairs for tomorrow’s big dinner (We’re hosting 27!.) Oh… and of course I’m in charge of he remote control for the Lion’s Game!

Have a great day - and if you’re headed over the river and thru the woods to Grandma’s house… safe travels!

We’ll see you back here tomorrow! Thanksgiving Dat!

-Dick

The White House announced that Joe Biden and First Lady Jill Biden will be attending President Elect Donald Trump’s Inauguration on January 20th.

-Well considering Joe put on a Red MAGA hat at one point and Jill wore a Red Dress on Election Day (True!)… maybe they’re going to the innauguration because… they VOTED FOR TRUMP??

*****

Yesterday, Special Counsel Jack Smith moved to dismiss all Federal Cases against Trump (which he brought) ... essentially ending what critics have called "Lawfare" that attemted to put Trump in prison for the rest of his life.

- Jack better hope Trump doesn’t get his name in the annual Federal Government Secret Santa Gift Exchange!

*****

Newly released data shows that more than 40% of Democrats believe Kamala Harris should be their Nominee for President again in 2028.

-I can think of about 1.2 BILLION reasons why Democrat donors might not let that happen...

*****

According to a new poll... the majority of Americans say their least favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal is... the Turkey.

- Not surprisingly, 100% of Turkeys surveyed agreed.

*****

Of all the places to retire inthe U.S.... a new study found more people in all 50 states want to move to the Villages in Florida than any other place - because of the great weather, dining, shopping, golf courses, performing arts & lifestyle amenities.

- Oh... and there's supposed to be a ton of drinking and sex, too.

*****

RIP... Chuck Woolery... The legendary game show host died Saturday at the age of 83. Woolery was the original host of both the daytime version of Wheel of Fortune (1975-1981) and Love Connection (1983-1994) and other shows and went on to host a Conservative Podcast.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday… The day before Thanksgiving!

-Dick

This afternoon, President Biden will welcome two Turkeys to the Lawn of the White House in order to issue the traditional Presdiential Thanksgiving Pardon.

- When I heard “turkey” and “pardon” I assumed Hunter was going to be there… but it turns out it’s just two actual birds from Minnesota named “Peach” and “Blossom”.

*****

The self-described Socialist mayor of Paris, France is backing a city council motion to ban SUVs in the French Capital, saying they are “Weapons used to attack the French”.

-Expecially the GERMAN SUV’s.

*****

Former President Bill Clinton claimed he “had a feeling” that all the swing states would swing in unison this past election cycle.

-And if anybody knows about “Swinging”… it’s Bill.

*****

A major storm expected to hit the Northeast threatens to put a damper on the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in NYC. With temps in the upper 40’s and rain all day… forecasters say it will be messy, but the balloons should be able to fly.

- And with everyone looking up at the floats… it will be that much easier for the muggers to go through parade-goers pockets!

*****

A new study finds that texting abbreviations like IDK for “I don’t know” or GOAT for “greatest of all time” make the texter seem insincere.

-BTW…. That’s just an FYI.

*****

SeaWorld San Diego is celebrating the 40th Birthday of the oldest known Macaroni Penguin in North America.

- Didn’t I just see a commercial for “Unlimited Macaroni Penguin” at Olive Garden? I know I did… It came with Soup, Salad and Endless Breadsticks!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

With Elon Musk an advisor to the incoming Trump Administration…Trump’s “Presidential” motorcade now includes a Tesla Cybertruck.

-Well they call the Presidential Limo "The Beast"... but compared to the Cybertruck, I'm thinking the Limo might be "The Beauty".🤔

*****

President Biden turned 82 years old yesterday… becoming the nation’s oldest serving President.

-His staff celebrated by throwing him a Surprise party… The Suprise? America realizing he’s still President. 🥳

*****

Speaking of B-Days… Leonardo DiCaprio was photographed sporting a gray beard after returning from his 50th Birthday Celebration in Europe.

Leo’s really maturing. I hear he’s only dating women over 25 now. 👍🏻.

*****

Ellen DeGeneres and her wife Portia De Rossi announced that they've left the country and moved to England permanently following Donald Trumps victory.

-Any chance she packed Robert De Niro & Bruce Springsteen in her Suitcase? They announced yesterday they're leaving the US because of Trump’s win, too.

*****

Jose Ibarra… the illegal migrant who sexually assaulted and murdered Georgia nursing student Laken Riley has been found Guilty on All Counts and will spend the rest of his life in Prison.

-How long that life will be will be up to his fellow inmates.

*****

Matt Gaetz has withdrawn his name from consideration for Trump’s Attorney General after much controversey…

-Is it just me or is it the first time in history that people are paying attention to Presidential Cabinet picks like they're binge-watching movies on Netflix? Pass the popcorn! 🍿

*****

A Canadian grandmother made her way into Guinness Book of World Records by completing an astounding 1,575 pushups in one hour. (True!)

How’d she do it? She tripped on the way to the fridge to grab a beer… and it took her 1,575 tries to get back up.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

Katie Couric took a swipe at Vice President Kamala Harris for her non-answers in various interviews leading up to the presidential election, saying she wanted Kamala to, “Answer the G… D…-Question, you know?”

- I guess if Katie had really wanted to help Kamala win, she would have spoken up, “Before the G… D… Election, you know?”, but maybe that’s just me.

*****

Millions across the U.S. will be blasted by winter storms ahead of busy Thanksgiving travel.

Which is Mother Nature’s way of getting you out of having to avoid those “Who did you vote for” while passing the mashed potatoes conversations.

*****

A recent study found that Ancient Egyptians may have been using hallucinogens in their ancient rituals to induce a state of creativity and euphoria.

- Well, Steve Martin told us that King Tut was buried with a Monkey… and now we finally know how he got so “Funky”!

- It also explains why the Bangles got famous teaching people how to “Walk Like an Egyptian”.

*****

Moviegoers who spoke to NBC News say they hope that people don’t attempt to sing along when “Wicked” the movie adaption of the popular broadway musical hits theaters this week.

- I felt the same way when “Saving Private Ryan” came out.

*****

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson's $250 MILLION dollar film “Red One” bombed on opening weekend, as it earned just $34.1 million despite the massive budget and star-studded cast.

-It was such a waste of money it’s now being investigated by Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency. (DOGE!)

*****

A new survey of 2,000 U.S. adults finds that only a third of those white Air Pod earphones owners clean their listening devices weekly…

-Back in my early “Disc Jockey” days we used to “Spin the Wax”… but that’s kinda gross. 🤪

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

The Lions absolutely destroyed Jacksoville yesterday… 52 to 6… They’re now 9 and 1…

Meanwhile my hometown team the Buffalo Bill beat the defending Super Bowl Champion Kansas City Chiefs 30 - 21… Go Bills!

*****

Yesterday President Biden authorized Ukraine to use U.S. Missiles INSIDE Russia for the first time in the Russia/Ukraine War… a move experts say move us dramatically closer to World War III.

-So other than that… How was your weekend?

*****

Spirit Airlines filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy protection this morning.

Industry leaders say this means Spirit passengers will experience long lines, delayed flights and disruptions in service. In other words… Business as usual.

*****

On Sunday, Joe Biden became the first President to visit the Amazon rainforest.

And he liked it so much he ordered another Rainforest from Amazon to be deliver to the White House in two Days because he has Prime.

*****

The Pentagon failed its seventh consecutive audit on Friday as the agency was unable to fully account for its massive $824 BILLION budget.

- I don’t know if this would help them out or not… but I always stash my receipts above the visor in my car. That way I always know where they are. Maybe the Pentagon could pick one tank where they put all the receipts?? Just a thought.

*****

Australian scientists have developed a method of accurately checking if milk has gone bad by using the vibration motor inside every smartphone.

Or you can just do what people have done for centuries… have your husband sniff it.

*****

A new survey finds that roughly 50% of Americans say they messed up their marriage proposal.

- And that’s just the Women who said “Yes”.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

It’s National Pickle Day! And Yes… It’s a Big Dill !

*****

President-elect Donald Trump met with President Biden at the White House yesterday… with the two men shaking hands as they sat in front of a roaring fire and Biden saying, “Welcome Back”.

-This was an even warmer welcome than Hitler got when he rolled into Paris in 1940.

*****

On Friday, Mike Tyson and Jake Paul will finally meet in the ring. Mike is 58. Paul is 27… that’s a 31 year age difference! The fight will take place at AT&T Stadium in Dallas and will be streamed on Netflix starting at 11pm.

- Are you going to watch? I’m all eyes! And in Mike’s case… All ears!

*****

A new study confirms that there is in fact a decline in the African elephant population.

-Boy… if anybody was going to remember to Procreate, you’d think it’d be the Elephants. (With their amazing memories).

*****

According to a new study, the number of damaged packages arriving on doorsteps has soared by a third in the last year.

-Luckily most people don’t realize their packages arrive damaged… as they're stolen by porch pirates before they even get to them.

*****

A new study has found that people who only drink beer tend to have significantly poorer diets compared to wine drinkers.

- That’s because Red Wine pairs nicely with Beef, White Wine pairs beautifully with fish and Beer tends to pair well with anything Deep Fried and covered in Cheese.

*****

Spirit Airlines is reportedly in advanced talks over a possible bankruptcy filing following a failed merger and continued financial struggles.

- And Spirit has informed me that I’m going to have to charge you an extra $5 dollars for reading this story. Sorry!

*****

HBO executives now say that the “Harry Potter” reboot series won’t be on TV until 2027.

- The British haven’t disappointed us this badly since Prince Harry married Meghan Markle.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

Liberal women - angry that their boyfriends and husbands voted for Trump, claim they are going on a 4 year Sex Strike as punishment.

Kinda sounds like they're trying to Make Celibacy Great Again!

*****

A new study finds that vintage clothing in thrift shops can be covered in disease-causing bacteria.

But it’s cool because it’s “Vintage Bacteria”… not the Modern stuff you can pick up at Walmart and Amazon.

*****

A baby goat stranded on a Hawaii cliff was rescued by members of the public after four days.

That story again…

High on a hill was a lonely goatherd

Layee odl, layee odl layee-oo

Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd

Layee odl, layee odl-oo

(You get the drift…)

*****

A Singapore family court has banned a Woman from entering her brother’s bedroom to clean it against his will.

- Don’t you hate it when people air the family’s dirty laundry in public?

*****

Police in California arrested a naked man found hiding in a crawl space beneath a 93-year-old woman’s house in California after an intense struggle.

I should note here… the struggle was with the 93 year old woman NOT the naked man. He gave up without a fight. She said it was kind of nice having a man around the house.

-*****

A man took to Social Media looking for advice after his wife filed for divorce after finding out that he voted for Donald Trump. In a post that’s gotten more than 12 MILLION views, he said she, “Won’t even talk. She says it’s Over.”

That womans’ name… Dr. Jill Biden.


*****

Prayers and Good wishes this morning to our friend Dave Coulier… who announced that he’s been diagnosed with stage 3 Non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Dave, 65 is the nationally known comic who got his start right here in Detroit - appearing at Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle and on my shows many times - and went on to star in “Full House” with John Stamos and Bob Saget, who died in 2022. - said he went to the Doctor with an upper respiratory infection that caused major swelling in his lymph nodes - and that’s what led to his diagnosis. "Three days later, my doctors called me back and they said, ‘We wish we had better news for you, but you have non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and it's called B cell and it's very aggressive. [I was] feeling like I got punched in the stomach because it never happens to you. You always hear about it happening to someone else.”

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick