It’s President’s Day! The Day we Salute the small, select group of individuals who have sacrificed so much to lead this great country. Oh… And also, Mr. Belvedere. President of Beledere Construction. Because… They Do Good Work!

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It’s also “National Cabbage Day”… So if you're a Cabbage Fan… It’s a great day to Toot your own Horn!

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Over the weekend, 31 year Social Media Influencer Ashley St. Clair claimed that she had given birth to a child fathered by none other than…. Elon Musk. This makes 13 for the Doge founder.

-Elon say’s he’d used protection, but apparently this was one bullet he wasn’t meant to DOGE…

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With tensions over Tariffs rocking international relationships, a hockey match between the US and Canada descended into chaos over the weekend as 3 fights broke out in the first 9 seconds of the game. But when the dust cleared… the US ended up winning the game 3-1.

-Thats 7.64 to 2.54 in Metric 😂 (I actually figured that out… Thank God for calculators!)

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The 88 year old Pope is In the Hospital with a respiratory infection.

-The Pope tweeted, “Hats off to my Doctors and Nurses”… and that’s a pretty big hat.

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51-year-old Super Model Heidi Klum revealed that, as she continues aging, she has begun to grow hair on her breasts.

As the dedicated, intrepid journalist I am, I’m going to research this story heavily, double check my sources, get a hands on look for myself… and report back. Your welcome.

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A new poll shows that liberal women are the most unhappy and lonely group of people in the United States.

-That’s what happens when you only poll the ladies who co-host “The View”.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick