The Beta Tau branch of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity at the University of Michigan has been suspended after a series of photos featuring nearly nude frat members draped in American flags were sent out as party invitations to a sorority.
- I have seen the future of America…and I’m terrified.
- Somebody should have run that idea up the flag pole before they ran it up the flag pole.
- The last person to cover up his naked body with an American Flag was Bill Clinton when Hillary unexpectedly stopped by the Oval Office.
*****
President Obama warned that if sequestration cuts go through, prisoners around the country will be let out of jail.
- It’s commonly known as “The Lindsay Lohan Prison Policy”.
*****
When President Obama returned from his weekend in Florida, the issue-minded White House Press Corps asked him if he had beaten Tiger Woods on the links.
- So instead of the usual “softball questions” they asked him a “golf ball question”.
- I remember back when Bill Clinton played with Tiger Woods and reportedly asked him for tips on using his putter.
*****
Warren Buffett bought the Heinz company for $28 billion.
- It sounds like a lot, but it’s actually just over $490 million for each of the 57 varieties.
- Buffett says he always practices “safe investing” which is why he bought a whole bunch of condiments.
*****
Clara Cowell, a 102-year-old British woman who still lives on her own, announced that she’s finally given up cigarettes after 82 years of smoking.
- She didn’t want to quit, but she just didn’t have the energy left to walk a mile for a Camel.
*****
Medical experts are saying it’s not good to hold in your, um, gas on an airplane. They say it can cause bloating and discomfort.
- Advice like that is how these guy end up making the big bucks.
- Suddenly sitting around a bunch of screaming kids who kick the back of your seat sounds pretty appealing.
- I can just hear the flight attendant now… “Ladies and Gentlemen please fasten your seat belts as we’re about to experience some flatulence…”
*****
New York news anchorman Rob Morrison was arrested for allegedly trying to strangle his wife, fellow anchor Ashley Morrison. The police report paints him as an angry, screaming drunk who watches porn on the internet.
- But that’s only when he isn’t delivering the news about other angry, screaming drunks who try to kill their wives after watching porn on the Internet.
*****
REMINDER: We’re just two days away from the 26th Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon! This Radiothon is the sole fundraiser to support this vital program that feeds 5,000 men women & children in our area 365 days a year! And it shelters over 400 people a night!
I’ll be back behind the mic THIS FRIDAY, Feb 22, from 6am to 10pm as we broadcast live from the Oakland Mall. A donation of $10 a month (that’s just $120 dollars a year) will FEED ONE PERSON FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR and earns you membership in the “Bed & Bread Club”. A donation of $20 a month (that’s $240 for the year) FEEDS TWO PEOPLE FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR!
If you’d like to donate now, just go to salmich.org or call 1-248-528-0760. Operators are already on duty!
Feel free to stop by the Mall anytime during the 16-Hour Event, listen to it as we broadcast live on 760 WJR, or watch live streaming on WJR, as well as Channel’s 2, 4, & 7.
It’s hard to believe we started the Radiothon 26 years ago - but what’s even harder to believe is the thousands and thousands of lives that have been changed by your generosity. I know times are tough, but if you have a roof over your head and a way to feed yourself and your family, please help us out. I guarantee you’ll be glad you did!
Thanks in advance!
-Dick