A 51 year old Pontiac man was arrested after stealing an ambulance outside McClaren Hospital Sunday night so he could drive to a strip club in Sterling Heights. 

- He's out on bail...which he paid in Singles. 

- And if things "went well" at the Strip Club...he'd have plenty of antibiotics on hand. 

*****

Airline officials are considering a ban on carry-on luggage amid reports that terrorists are plotting a Christmas attack. 

- So no fruitcakes in the cabin this year...except for that one super happy male flight attendant. 

*****

Computer hackers have stolen five new movies from Sony Pictures and released them on the internet, including "Annie" which doesn't hit theaters for another 3 weeks. 

- Sometimes it really is "A Hard Knock Life". 

*****

A study published in Clinical Pediatrics found that scooters lead to the most toy-related injuries among kids.  

- And for the moms, most toy related injuries occur at Toys R Us during hair pulling fights over who get's the last "Elsa the Ice Queen" doll from the movie "Frozen". 

*****

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un's aunt suffered a fatal stroke while arguing with him on the phone. 

- They were arguing about his plan to execute her, so the stroke really just saved time. 

- If Kim knocks off anymore of his relatives, there's gonna be a lot of leftover "Roasted Schnauzer" after the family Christmas dinner. 

*****

The Girl Scouts of America announced that they will now be selling cookies online. 

- There website crashed just moments after Rosie O'Donnell and Chris Christie heard the news. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick