The University of Michigan says it won't allow alcohol at their football games next year.
- Fans will compensate by starting their tailgate parties 3 hours earlier.
- THE Ohio State University Football Team was going to ban booze in their Stadium as well, but the players said they refused to play in an empty house.
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Joe Biden is in Poland to reassure our allies that Russia won't be allowed to make any more land grabs.
- Polish residents said with Biden's presence they are no longer afraid. They're terrified.
- Biden said he won't let the Russians put a foot in Poland. But added that if the German's show up...they're on their own.
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A 4.4 magnitude Earthquake struck Los Angeles this morning.
- This is what happens when Kirstie Alley and Michael Moore get together at Denny's for breakfast.
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Guinness pulled out of New York City's St. Patrick's Day Parade, citing the exclusion of gay marchers.
- I guess they think gay guys should have the chance pee along the parade route just like everybody else.
- Parade officials said they will allow Gays to march in the Parade next year...but only if they're dressed as Leprechauns.
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The search continues for the missing Malaysian Airliner in the Indian Ocean.
- This plane is turning out to be harder to find than relatives at a Kim Jong Un Family Reunion.
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Game of Thrones actress Sibel Kekelli says there should be more male nudity on her show.
- Well that would certainly point the show in a new direction.
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick