Spring officially arrives at 12:57pm today. That means it's time to put away my fur-lined sneakers and pull out the old black socks and sandals!!!
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Today also marks the beginning of "March Madness"...and both Spartan and Wolverine basketball fans will be glued to their TV's. #4 seed MSU takes on #13 Delaware at 4:40pm. Then at 7:10pm, #2 seeded Michigan faces #15 Wofford. GO GREEN AND GO BLUE!!!
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President Obama picked MSU to win the NCAA Tournament.
- Before you get too excited...this is the same guy who said "If you like your Doctor, you can keep your Doctor".
- Just to tick Obama off, Vladimir Putin picked U of M...the University of Moscow.
- Obama's very experienced when it comes to basketball. He's been jumping through hoops trying to get people to sign up for Obamacare for months now.
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A Urologist in Texas says that more men get vasectomies during "March Madness" than any other time of the year. He claims the guys time-it so they can "recover" while watching nonstop basketball.
- This gives a whole new meaning to the "Tip Off"...no wait, that's a circumcision.
- If only we could get more professional basketball players to get vasectomies, Father's Day would be so much less confusing!
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Osama Bin Laden's son-in-law claims he warned Bin Laden that the U.S. wouldn't stop until it killed him, but he replied "You're being too pessimistic."
- It's that kind of positive thinking that earned Bin Laden the Presidency of the "Secret Pakistani Hideout Optimist Club".
- More proof that Osama was a "The Camel's Hump is Half Full" kind of guy.
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Starbucks has announced that it will begin selling a new Chai Tea named after Oprah Winfrey.
- They say it's has a robust flavor and gives off a pleasing "new car smell".
Execs say Starbucks will also begin serving Alcohol in it's stores during the evening hours.
- Finally! Somewhere you can get a paper cup of wine for just $27.50!
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A school principal in Hempstead, Texas was fired for telling students to speak English instead of Spanish.
- You can hear her message by calling the school and pressing #1 for Spanish, and #2 for English.
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In Touch magazine released more names from Lindsay Lohan's list of men she's slept with, including Ashton Kutcher, Benicio del Toro and Ryan Phillippe.
- So now we know three more guys who are taking penicillin.
- Wouldn't it be easier for her to hand out a list of guys she hasn't slept with?
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick