Several employees at Disneyland have tested positive for the Measles.
- Meanwhile Six of the Seven Dwarfs have gone on antibiotics for an "undisclosed" condition after Snow White got back from a trip to Vegas with Prince Charming.
*****
Multiple sources say that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg fell asleep during Tuesday night's State of the Union.
- I didn't see it myself as I'd nodded off during that part of the speech.
- In her defense, Ginsberg is 81 years old. By 9pm she's usually in bed watching reruns of Matlock.
*****
An app called "Invisible Boyfriend" creates social media posts that will make people think you've landed a guy.
- You'll still be sitting on your couch in sweats eating ice cream on Saturday night, but your fake friends will think you're on a hot date.
*****
The Mayor of Paris plans on suing Fox News because the American network "insulted" her city during its coverage of the terror attacks in France.
- And if anyone knows about "Insulting"...it's the French.
*****
Pope Francis announced that he's booked a trip to New York for this coming September.
- He's dying to try the kosher corned beef at the Carnegie Deli.
- They won't have to worry much about security, since most New Yorkers will just assume he's some lunatic dressed in a Pope costume.
- He'll hold a mass, greet followers on the streets, and bless millions of cockroaches and rats all over the city.
*****
The NFL has now confirmed that 11 of the 12 balls used by the Patriots in their 45-7 win over the Colts were under inflated.
- Underinflation hasn't made this many headlines since Hugh Hefner's last honeymoon.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick