We may be 4 days away from the "official" arrival of Spring... but today's temp is expected to be near 70 degrees! 

- On the downside... "Speedo Season" has officially begun. 

*****

South African doctors have successfully performed the world's first penis transplant on a 21-year-old man. 

- They say the man who donated his "manhood" is a real stand up guy... Well, he USED to be.

- The clinical name for the procedure is "A Reverse Bobbitt". 

*****

A report claims that the Obama administration leaked Hillary Clinton's email scandal story to the press to sabotage her Presidential campaign. 

- The President immediately denied it, claiming he knew nothing about the scandal until he saw it on the news. 

*****

A Nebraska woman was arrested for calling in a bomb threat to Time Warner Cable. 

- She said the soonest she could schedule the bomb to go off was next Thursday, between Noon and 5pm. 

*****

A lawsuit claims that Seattle bus drivers were forced to wear diapers because the city failed to allow them access to public restrooms. 

- On the bright side, they've got the most Depend-able bus system in the country. 

- Why don't they just "go" on the bus like some of the passengers do? 

*****

Pamela Anderson has been granted a restraining order against her ex-husband. 

- She needed the extra protection because if he comes near her, she's only able to run in slow motion. 

*****

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: It's FREE CONE DAY at Dairy Queen! As a celebration of their 75th "Fanniversary" DQ is handing out free small vanilla cones all day today, but there is a catch: The offer is limited to one per customer, per location. 

- I can only imagine how many miles Michael Moore is gonna put on his car today. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick