The group "One Million Moms" is demanding that ABC cancel the new Muppet Show because of it's sexually explicit humor.
- Sounds like the Muppets aren't the only ones with a stick up their butts.
- Wait until they read the shocking new book by Miss Piggy about her relationship with Kermit. It's called "Fifty Shades of Green".
*****
The Pope will say mass in New York City today, and in anticipation of the crowds, 200 gallons of Sacramental Wine have been prepared.
- And just in case any parishioners are "over served" the Pontiff has volunteered to give them a ride home in his UberPopeMobile.
*****
A federal judge ruled that "Warner/Campbell" does not own the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.
- He ruled it belongs to the person who has heard it the most, so let me be the first to congratulate Abe Vigoda!
*****
A study published in the journal Peer discovered that every person on earth emits - and can be identified by - their own unique "microbial cloud of bacteria".
- Or as my late father would have called it, "Flatulence & Old Spice".
*****
A survey by Jobvite found that 92% of recruiters use Social Media as part of their hiring process.
- So parents, forget sending your kid to an expensive college... just make sure you get them a top-of-the-line Selfie-Stick.
*****
A red headed British man was busted for plotting to kill Prince Charles so Prince Harry would be closer to the throne.
- If Harry's drunken party trips to Vegas are a clue, he already spends a lot of him time "close to the throne".
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow
-Dick