$$$$$

No one won Saturday night's Powerball Jackpot...so the drawing on Wednesday will be worth $1.3 BILLION.  

- I don't usually play the Lotto, but with the stock market tanking, I'm in! 

- Jeb Bush's campaign is reportedly buying up tickets in the hopes of financing his campaign. 

*****

A study by Terminix named Detroit as the most bed bug-infested city in the country. 

- We're #1! We're #1!

*****

The Playboy Mansion is up for sale for $200 Million...but there's a catch. The new owner has to let Hugh Hefner live there until he dies. 

- Hef is 89 years old so chances are good he'll be gone by the time the mortgage is approved. 

*****

An audience member jumped on stage during the people's "People's Choice Awards", grabbed the mic and sent a "shout out" to his favorite rapper.

- It was disruptive, but Kanye West still has the greatest award interruption video of all time. 

*****

A new App claims it can decode the crying sounds of babies and determine what issue parents need to address. 

- Critics are skeptical, saying it doesn't pass the smell test. 

*****

A new "Jihadi University" video shows weapons experts training terrorists. 

- A lot of teens are dying to get accepted. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick