A Chicago man attacked a City Bus Driver with a bag of frozen chicken.
- Hillary immediately called for "stricter frozen chicken control" and the Donald tweeted that "the right to bear poultry" is guaranteed by the Second Amendment.
*****
Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was vandalized by someone using a sledgehammer.
- Even the Donald doesn't blame Hillary saying she's not nearly healthy enough to lift something that heavy.
*****
The latest batch of WikiLeaks show that, during the Primaries, the Clinton campaign considered sending The New York Post a picture of Bernie Sanders lounging around the pool in his bathing suit.
- We can only hope his swim trunks weren't as "Transparent" as the Government he was calling for.
*****
For $179 a year passengers at Metro Airport can now sign up for a program called CLEAR that takes 10 fingerprints, scans your Iris, and takes a high res pic of your face, allowing you to go through security in less than a second.
- The TSA agents are really going to have to speed up their groping time.
*****
Victoria Secret is keeping the venue of their upcoming runway show in Paris a secret, citing fears of a terrorist action.
- There are a lot of guys who'd like some "action" with the models, but they're not terrorists.
*****
A study by the Centers for Disease Control found that 20 million people were diagnosed with their first sexually transmitted disease last year.
- That's right about the time Bill started campaigning for Hillary. Coincidence? Maybe.
*****
Twitter announced that they are cutting 8% of their work force.
- Instead of a pink slip, the employees will get a Tweet saying "Good News! You don't have to participate in this year's "Secret Santa" exchange!" #You'reOuttaHere
*****
Caitlyn Jenner was spotted at a movie premiere wearing a dress almost identical to ones worn by her Kardashian daughters. She paired it with size 13 and 1/2 strappy heels.
- You know what they say... Big Feet... Fake Boobs.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick