Cedar Point announced that they are tearing down The Mean Streak Roller Coaster to make room for something new. 

- So if you want to ride The Mean Streak...you're gonna have to follow the Presidential Campaigns. 

*****

McDonald's has removed all artificial ingredients from their Chicken McNuggets. 

- Pundits say the controversial move may cost Mayor McCheese the election in November to his rival, Phil A. O'Fish.

*****

Juan Assange says he's got a lot more emails regarding Hillary Clinton and will be releasing them in batches on Wikileaks. 

- Hillary's campaign is calling the "leaks" Intentional Email Incontinence. 

*****

A study published in the Pediatrics Journal found that trampoline injuries are on the rise in the U.S. 

- But it's only a temporary increase... known as the Political Convention Bounce. 

*****

Texas passed a law that will allow college students to carry guns to class. 

- When I went to Syracuse, the "Open Carry" policy meant we could bring Cliff Notes to English Lit. 

*****

A 60 year old Afghan Cleric was arrested for marrying a 6 year old girl.

- But not before they had a fabulous Destination Wedding at the Magic Kingdom. 

- They say opposites attract... She plays Pokemon Go and He plays Pokemon CAN'T Go. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick