Donald Trump will sit down with Doctor Oz tomorrow to discuss the status of his health. 

- We don't know what he's going to say... but we do know that Dr. Oz is going to stretch a human colon out across the stage and tell Trump that he can drop a ton of weight by drinking green tea extract. 

*****

Speaking of Colons... Colin Powell is the latest victim of email hacking... and it's not good for Hillary. Powell said that he lost a speaking gig "because she so overcharged them... they couldn’t afford any fees for awhile. I should send her a bill.” 

- Hillary is going to respond in a speech she's giving this afternoon... for 250 grand. 

*****

Meanwhile, a new poll found that 50% of Americans think that Hillary has given false information about her health. 

- The other 50% were unable to respond as they were coughing too hard from "seasonal allergies". 

*****

Two cops in California rescued a kitten who was trapped in a drain pipe by luring it out with a leftover burrito from their car.

- Donald Trump said he believes it's a Mexican kitten that sneaked across the border and is threatening to deport it. 

*****

A 2-year-old South Carolina boy is home safely after he was found driving down the street in the middle of the night in a battery-powered toy car.

- Boy... Uber will hire anybody these days. 

*****

The Oxford English dictionary is adding the word "moobs" which is short for "man boobs". 

- Under synonyms you'll find the words "Caitlyn Jenner". 

*****

The first trailer has been released for "Fifty Shades Darker".... the sequel to "Fifty Shades of Grey". 

- Reviewers say it's just like a porn movie... except it has a plot... sort of. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick