When Air Force One landed in China for the G-20 Summit, Chinese officials said they "couldn't find" a staircase to let President Obama off the plane for a red carpet welcome. He ended up having to come out of the rear door of the plane. 

- Maybe they were just honoring Obama's policy of "Leading from Behind". 

- They did give him an extra egg roll at lunch, so all in all it was a wash. 

*****

Apple is set to unveil the new iPhone 7 in a star studded event tomorrow. 

- We know one thing for sure... it's going to be iExpensive. 

- In related news, I'm using a new piece of duct tape to keep the battery in my Flip-Phone. 

*****

19 years after her death, Mother Teresa has been officially named a Saint.

- Unfortunately, National-Anthem-dissing Colin Kaepernick, continues to be a 49er. 

*****

A Yahoo study found that 50% of Americans don't want to visit Florida because of the Zika Virus. 

- And the other 50% don't want to visit because their mother-in-law lives there.  

- Disney is trying to calm fears by featuring a fun new ride called: "It's a SMALL Mosquito After All". 

*****

Pamela Anderson wrote an Op-Ed piece in the Wall Street Journal over the weekend urging people to give up porn. 

- It took a really long time to read since she wrote it in Slo-Motion. 

*****

7 days after starting a hunger strike to protest not getting tenure, a Pennsylvania college professor had his first meal - tacos. 

- He said he gave in because he'd made his point... and...  he was really, really hungry.

*****

"The Burning Man" music festival out West reportedly has a giant tent where people are invited to go in and have sex with strangers. 

- Concert goers can now leave the festival with a $20 T-Shirt... and a Free STD!

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick