The Clinton Foundation announced that they will NOT return the $250,000 contribution they received from disgraced sexual predator Harvey Weinstein claiming the money has already been spent on "good causes". 

- Translation: Bill is a BIG tipper everytime he goes to Hooters. 

*****

Colin Kaepernick is suing all 32 NFL team owners, claiming they have "colluded" to keep him from getting a job because of his National Anthem Protests. 

- Talk about a "Knee Jerk" reaction. 

*****

A study by the Department of Health found that a record 40% of Americans are now obese. 

- So that's the skinny on that. 

*****

Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz says he's considering running for President because the country is going through a "Significant Crucible". 

- And nothing can get you through a "Significant Crucible" like an Iced-Half-Caf-Pumpkin-Spice-Latte. 

*****

Harvey Weinstein's wife, who announced that she was leaving last week, has reached out to Anthony Weiner's wife Huma Abedin for help. 

- Meanwhile Harvey "reached out" to grope one of the flight attendants on the plane he took to rehab in Arizona. 

*****

A computer virus is affecting millions of users of the world's most popular porn site, Porn Hub. 

- But unlike the actors in the video, the computers can't be treated with antibiotics. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick