Stove Top Stuffing has launched a pair of $20 unisex Thanksgiving Dinner Pants complete with a stuffing print stretchable belly waistband to allow for maximum Thanksgiving Dinner consumption. 

- They come in 3 sizes: Small, Medium and Michael Moore. 

*****

GQ Magazine has named Colin Kaepernick 2017's "Citizen of the Year". 

- Look for the issue next week at a News-Stand near you... or in this case, a "News Kneel". 

- In a related story, they named The Harvey Weinstein scandal "The Most Touching Story of the Year". 

*****

The world's first "Politically Motivated Hotel" will open in D.C. next year, designed to offer Liberals a "safe place" to stay with like-minded people and will even offer art supplies so guests can make protest signs. 

- Sleeping arrangements aren't very comfortable since the rooms only come with a Left side of the bed. 

- Repubs will stick with the Trump Hotel - or as some call it, "The Orange Roof Inn". 

*****

New guidelines have changed the threshold for High Blood Pressure from 140/90 to 130/80 - meaning 14% more Americans now have hypertension. 

- Doctors say patients should reduce salt intake, but more importantly, stop reading political rants on Facebook immediately. 

*****

Cryogenic scientists in Russia say they want to freeze people BEFORE before they die, so they have a better chance of bringing them back to life in the future. 

- Hey I grew up in Buffalo... being frozen when your alive is no news to me.

*****

A Dunkin Donuts worker is accused of selling heroin during his shifts.

- In honor of the Holidays, it was Pumpkin Spice heroin!

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick