President Trump told a rally in Youngstown, Ohio that "with the exception of the late, great Abraham Lincoln" he can be "more Presidential than any other President in US History". 

- So look for him to start referring to himself as "Honest Don". 

*****

This morning, Trump tweeted that there will be No Transgenders allowed in the Military. 

- And just like that Caitlyn Jenner's dream of serving in a foxhole with a bunch of guys in uniform goes up in smoke. 

*****

New research shows Sperm counts among Western men have plunged to a record low... falling by more than 50% in 40 years. 

- Experts blame chemicals found in everyday products... and the "New Math" which has made it harder to count the little guys accurately. 

*****

Experts warn that Iran is on the brink of attempting to launch a satellite into Space. 

- Our only hope is that North Korea fires a missile that shoots it down. 

*****

An International study found that contrary to popular belief, Money CAN buy happiness... as long as you spend it on things that save you time, like hiring a housekeeper. 

- They came to the conclusion by interviewing a Mr. A. Schwarzenegger.  

*****

Ann Arbor has been named the "Most Educated City in America". 

- Students in Columbus, Ohio were like, "That ain't true!"

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick