Las Vegas tourism increased 63% in the city's first weekend of selling recreational marijuana. 

- Instead of telling Black Jack dealers to "Hit Me"... people are now begging their dealer for "A Hit". 

- So now, "What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas" because nobody can remember anything that happened while they were there. 

*****

North Korea successfully launched an ICBM that has a range capable of reaching Alaska. 

- Sarah Palin said the news was alarming, but added that if it ever happens, she'll be able to see the missile from her house!

*****

Meanwhile President Trump trashed Kim Jong Un for the launch, Tweeting "Doesn't this guy have anything better to do with his life?"

- Well, he doesn't really have anybody to hang with since he killed everyone in his family and has whacked his "most trusted advisors". 

*****

Chris Christie was criticized after lounging with his family on a NJ Beach that he had closed to the public due to a budget crisis. 

- The worst part for Christie was when a marine biologist mistook him for a beached whale and attempted to roll him back into the water. 

*****

Trump is headed to Europe to meet with foreign leaders including Vladimir Putin. 

- CNN is calling the trip "National Lampoon's European Vacation starring Donald Trump as Clark Griswold". 

*****

On his new album, rapper Jay-Z revealed that his mom is a lesbian. 

- What a great son... He calls, he writes, he Outs his Mom!

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick