During an interview with NBC, third Kavanaugh accuser Julie Swetnick changed the story she gave in her sworn statement and now says she can’t say for sure that Brett Kavanaugh was involved in the alleged gang-rape.

- But she knows FOR SURE that she had lunch with Elvis at a Burger King in 1982.

*****

A man in NY has been left with permanently red eyes after taking too much Viagra.

- Same thing happened when he was a teenage and parents told him to stop spending so much time in the bathroom or he’d go blind.

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Germany now has an Adults-Only Oktoberfest where adults can drink beer and get naked in front of each other.

- We have that in America too, but we call them “Fraternity Parties”.

*****

The National Enquirer claims that Cher is being stalked by a man who sent her an ear in the mail.

- Big deal. She’s already had four chins and three foreheads… what’s another ear?

*****

Rapper Snoop Dog called Kanye West an “Uncle Tom” for supporting Trump… meanwhile Kanye reportedly thinks Snoop is on drugs.

- And nobody knows more about drugs than the man who’s married to Kim Kardashian.

*****

A University of Michigan Professor won a Nobel Prize in Physics for work with lasers.

- In a related story, an Ohio State University professor won 2 bucks on a Scratch-Off Lottery Ticket.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick