Kim Jong Un is reportedly in China after leaving North Korea on his official train. (Pictured above)

- While in China, KJU plans on visiting Shanghai Disney and riding "It's A Small World"... cuz for once he's the tallest guy in the room. 

*****

Sean Penn smoked two cigarettes and admitted he was "on Ambien" when he appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert Monday night. 

- And then Colbert told a Trump joke. 

*****

A woman in Ft. Myers Florida married a one hundred year old Ficus Tree over the weekend in an effort to keep the city from cutting it down. 

- I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say the tree is the strong silent type. 

- Her parents were against the marriage, saying the groom has "a shady past". 

*****

The attorney for rapper DMX, who has 15 kids by 9 different women, says he'll play clips of DMX's hit "X Gon' Give it to Ya" for the judge in an effort to get his sentence for tax fraud reduced. 

- I'm thinking the judge is "Gon' STICK IT to DMX". 

*****

New research shows that second-hand marijuana smoke can be even more harmful to your health than inhaling second-hand cigarette smoke. 

- The only difference is, people exposed to second-hand marijuana smoke don't care. 

*****

Northwestern University has hired erotic expert "Lady Sophia" to teach students a class about  'healthy BDSM practices' during next month's "Sex Week". 

- Parents can read more about it in the upcoming book "Fifty Shades of Wasted Tuition". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick