250,000 are without power after the April Ice Storm this past weekend. 

- Mother Nature, you're old enough to be in Menopause. How about a hot flash or two right about now?? 

*****

92 year old former First Lady Barbara Bush is in very poor health, but CBS jumped the gun Sunday saying she had died peacefully at home.  

- Trump tweeted "MORE FAKE-SHE'S-NOT-AWAKE-NEWS! SAD!!"

*****

In his ABC interview, James Comey said Trump "treats women like pieces of meat" and "lies constantly"... meanwhile Trump tweeted that Comey is "not smart" and a "slime ball". 

- Why don't they just handle their disagreements like Grown Ups and throw spit balls at each other on the middle school playground?  

*****

According to an investigative journalist, people who work in Amazon warehouses often face a ten minute walk to the bathroom, and instead pee in bottles so they're not docked for taking long breaks. 

- This is disturbing news. Especially for people who use Amazon to deliver cases of Mountain Dew. 

*****

After being told by her Principal to "cover her nipples", a Florida teenager is staging a "Bra-Cott" at her High School today. 

- And just like that, the boys voted her the "Most Popular Girl of ALL TIME". 

- It's been dubbed the #MeBoobs Movement. 

*****

The DEA has seized $2 million worth of Crystal Meth that was transported across the border from Mexico inside wax Disney Character figurines, including Mickey and Minnie Mouse. 

- Take this stuff and you'll end up riding Space Mountain without ever leaving your house. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick