QUOTE OF THE DAY: Kim Kardashian said that shopping all the time isn't fulfilling anymore and that she'd like to "save someone's life... like once a year". 

- I would say her head is in her you-know-what, but that would require one heckuva big brain to match her one heckuva big butt. 

*****

During a Mass this week, Pope Francis called the Devil "a Loser". 

- I give it five minutes before people on social media start accusing the Pontiff of "Bullying Satan". 

*****

Town & Country magazine apologized to Monica Lewinsky after they UNINVITED her from an event about social change, after Bill Clinton RSVP-ed that he would be attending. 

- Bill said he had no idea she'd been invited saying "I did not have social expectations... with that woman... Monica Lewinsky". 

*****

President Trump was on the tarmac at 2am this morning to shake hands with 3 Americans released from North Korea by Kim Jong Un when they touched down on American soil. 

- It was nice for Trump to have another reason to get up in the middle of the night than just to Tweet.  

*****

Speaking of Trump's hands and Lil Kim... Happy "National Shrimp Day!" 

*****

An Amish man in Ohio was arrested for drunk driving after he blew his horse-drawn-buggy through a stop sign and admitted having downed 10 beers. 

- Horse-drawn-buggy crime is on the rise... that according to a Gallop poll. (Sorry!) 

*****

Police in Asheville, N.C., have arrested a 38-year-old man for running through a Waffle House,  McDonald’s, Buffalo Wild Wings and a Taco Bell... naked . 

- The cops were finally able to nab him when he dropped his Chalupa. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick