A British retailer is selling a new “Women’s Thong Bodysuit” - that has the thong part IN THE FRONT. 

- Personally I think they’ve got this whole thing ass-backwards. 

*****

A court will decide whether a dress code that requires the bottom one-half of the “anal cleft” to be covered violates the Civil Rights of a bunch of Bikini-Clad Baristas who work at the “Hillbilly Hotties” coffee chain.

- Anal Cleft? Huh?

- Let me repeat… I think they’ve got this whole thing ass-backwards.

*****

A Tweet by Nancy Pelosi’s daughter indicates that her mom’s applause at Trump’s State of the Union was “Sarcastic”: Christine Pelosi said it reminded her of the look her mom used to give her when she was growing up that meant: "She knows. And she knows that you know. And frankly she’s disappointed that you thought this would work. But here’s a clap.”

- Huh?

- Looks like this was both a Clap and a Slap at her mom.

- I thought Nancy was just trying to “Clap Off” the lights in the chamber during Trump’s speech. (Remember the TV Commercial? “Clap On! Clap Off! The Clapper!”)

*****

A Florida woman is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly hitting her boyfriend in the face with a frozen pork chop last weekend.

- He went to the hospital with a Blackened Rib Eye.

*****

A video has resufaced of Joy Behar admiting on The View in 2016 to dressing as a “beautiful African women” at a Halloween party and wearing make up “that was a little bit darker than my skin”.

- Apparently including the word “Beautiful” in her description means she doesn’t have to apologize or resign.

*****

Honeybees can learn to add and subtract, according to research showing that while the insects have tiny brains, they are still smart.

- You know… Kind of like the Kardashians… Only without the “Smart” part!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick