88 year old Warren Buffet who’s worth $87.3 BILLION says he drinks five cans of Coca-Cola a day, eats McDonald’s chicken nuggets at least three times a week and loves Dairy Queen for dessert.

- So Warren is just like a lot of American men… except for the $87.3 BILLION part.

*****

The TSA in Alaska announced that it’s legal to board a flight with a large quantity of Moose Excrement.

- So I CAN’T travel with more than 3.4 ounces of shampoo… but I CAN pack a boatload of Moose Poop? Fantastic.

*****

Oprah said she quit “60 Minutes” because it wasn’t a “good fit” and producers made her practice how to say her own name because it sounded “too emotional”.

- You want “emotional”? Wait til the Producers find out she’s NOT giving them all a free car as a parting gift.

*****

Anthony Weiner is reportedly shopping a Tell-All book.

- Well, it’ll be more of a “Show-All” book.

- We all knew Weiner would Pop-Up again eventually.

*****

A survey by TotalJobs found that - in order to eliminate “inappropriate touching” - three out of four people want ALL physical contact banned at work - including handshakes.

- Does that include the traditional “Good Job!” handshake you get from the boss in lieu of a raise?

*****

A Florida woman was arrested after she posted naked pics of a man’s private parts on all of HIS social media accounts and demanded money to take the photos down.

- He could have avoided the whole thing if he hadn’t taken his PANTS down.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick