A Quinnipiac Poll has Joe Biden leading Donald Trump in a head to head matchup by 13 points.

- Joe says he can “smell Victory”… and you gotta admit it’s nice to see Joe smelling something other than women’s hair for a change.

*****

A man in Pennsylvania called his local TV station to give his theory on the increase in Tornados: Traffic Circles. He said people driving around and around in circles “disrupts the atmosphere”.

- I don’t know about Tornados, but I do know Roundabouts raise my blood pressure when the guy in front of me just sits there - even though he’s got plenty of room to go.

*****

Director Quentin Tarantino is working on a new Star Trek movie that he says will be “foul mouthed” and full of “F bombs”.

- I’m sure glad Quentin lets us know this stuff ahead of time so I can be sure to make a note to see the movie.

- Sounds like it would make a great musical.

*****

Uber announced a plan to deliver food to customers using Drones.

- Drones are just like teenage delivery boys except when you don’t tip ‘em, they launch a rocket at your house.

*****

Mike Tyson is opening a luxury “Pot Resort” in the California desert where vacationers lay out big bucks to spend a week getting high.

- Or you can always break into Willie Nelson’s tour bus and do it for free.

*****

A woman in Scotland had to be cut out of a children’s Kiddy Car after getting stuck inside the mini-vehicle.

- And just like that her dreams of becoming a Circus Clown are dashed.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick