Bernie Madoff has appealed to Donald Trump to reduce his 150-year prison sentence for running the world's largest Ponzi scheme.

- As an incentive he offered Trump a great deal on some Stock in the Acme Dynamite Company.

*****

Even liberal CNN and MSNBC seem to agree that Robert Mueller’s testimony was disastrous for Dems hoping for criminal dirt on President Trump.

- Joy Behar was so devastated she almost couldn’t speak. Remember, I said “almost”.

- Rachel Maddow was so upset she had tears in her eyes and you could actually see her Adams Apple trembling.

*****

Michael Moore tweeted that not only did Mueller fail to “deliver the goods” but he “sucked the life out of his report”.

- And then he ate a large pizza and a side of fries.

*****

A study by US Trust found that Millennials - now in their 20’s and 30’s - believe “Old” starts at 59. But Baby Boomers - say you’re not “Old” until you’re 73.

- And remember what Groucho Marx said - or maybe it was Joe Biden - “You’re only as old as the woman you feel”.

*****

A “Flasher” in Massachusetts got more than he bargained for when a female jogger he exposed himself to ran after him and wrestled him to the ground.

- Sounds like somebody wasn’t that impressed with what she saw.

*****

Researchers at the University of Alabama claim that eating your last meal of the day at 2 in the afternoon may help you lose weight.

- There’s even a name for Dinner at 2 in the afternoon… It’s called “Lunch”.

*****

NE Patriots QB Tom Brady hinted that he may become a fashion designer.

- He’ll design shirts with Shoulder Pads while Colin Kaepernick will provide the Knee Pads.

*****

A new survey found that 4 in 10 people say the way they’ve lived their lives has left them with some regrets.

- Regrets? I’ve had a few. But then again… too few to mention.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick