Congrats to the US Women’s Soccer Team who won the World Cup by defeating the Netherlands 2-0.

- They’re the best players on the planet, Hands Down.

*****

Scientists say they are inching closer to being able to produce Steaks out of cow cells grown in a lab.

- Why? Are we out of Cows?

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Famed competitive eater Joey Chestnut won Nathan’s “4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest,” for the 12th time, downing 71 dogs in 10 minutes… which is three less than last year’s total of 74.

- Good to see Joey finally doing something about his cholesterol.

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Palace insiders say Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip were “no shows” at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s baby Archie’s christening over the weekend because they’re tired of Meghans TV-star attitude.

- Meghan was like, “Who died and made you the Queen??”

*****

A new study out of MSU claims that compatibility is overrated when it comes to having a successful marriage and, at the end of the day, simply finding a nice and pleasant partner is more important.

- So if you can, look for someone like Joy Behar or Rosie O’Donnell.

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A Starbucks barista asked six police officers to leave the coffee shop after a customer said he “didn’t feel safe” with police officers around.

- Lucky for the Barista, the cops will never say they “don’t feel safe” responding when he calls 911 during a stick-up.

*****

The National Enquirer is reporting that 73 year old Michael Douglas is moving in with his dad Kirk Douglas, because he’s worried about the 102 year old’s health.

- Kirk said, “Just when I thought I was done raising my kids… Mike decides to move back in”.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick