President Trump has proposed a measure that would allow the government to track mentally ill people through their cell phones.

- He got the idea by scrolling through some of his old Tweets.

*****

Google is developing a baby monitor that would alert parents when their infant is about to wake up.

- This is great for people who want to get five minutes LESS SLEEP than they would have, if they’d just waited for the baby to start crying.

*****

Kim Kardashian’s new “SKIMS” line of shape wear, bras and panties made over $2 MILLION in sales in the FIRST MINUTE they went on sale this week.

- Now Kim’s fans own something she doesn’t: Underwear.

*****

A Colorado school teacher gave birth outside the school with the principal and the dean helping out.

- She got an “A” for effort. And for showing her work.

*****

Models at New York’s Fashion Week walked the runway with some new accessories this year… Fake Beards made out out crystals and breast-feeding pumps.

- And to think my Mother thought Open Toes High Heels were downright “scandalous”.

*****

Michigan has given the green light to a new credit union that will specifically cater to the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community.

- In my day, we had one bank and it gave a toaster to everyone regardless of who they slept with.

*****

Happy Days actor Anson “Potsie” Williams has filed for divorce from wife Jackie Williams after more than 30 years of marriage.

- But to make this a Happy Day… the good news is, Joanie still loves Chachi.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick