It’s Paczski Day! aka FAT TUESDAY! I’m sorry… I understand the latest rule from the Woke World is we can’t say “Fat” so… It’s “Plus-Size Tuesday!”

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Speaking of the “F” word…

Critics are accusing the publisher of Roald Dahl’s children’s books of censorship for removing colorful language from books like “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” to make them "more acceptable". For example, Augustus Gloop, in “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” is no longer “enormously fat,” he’s just “enormous”.

- So “ixnay” the “fat” part.

And in order to be “Gender Neutral”… the Oompa Loompas are no longer “Small men” they are “Small People”.

- I thought Size Didn’t Matter!?!?!?

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President Biden met with the President of Poland in Warsaw this morning and told him that he grew up "surrounded by so many Polish immigrants in his Delaware neighborhood" that he "wanted to add 'ski' to his last name".

- Between claiming he was raised by Puerto Ricans, in a Black Church, as an Irish Catholic... among Poles... I'm beginning to think Biden's NOT from DELAWARE... He's from EPCOT at Disneyworld.

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Don Lemon will return to the CNN morning show on Wednesday after shooting himself in the foot with his “A woman past her 20’s, 30’s, or MAYBE her 40’s is PAST HER PRIME” comments last week… BUT he will be required to undergo unspecified “Formal Training”.

- Just a thought here... but I suggest the "Training" should be Tag Teamed by two very strong women who, according to Don, are “Past their Prime”… Judge Judy and Dr. Ruth.

- Or put him in a room with my daughters for an hour. His choice.

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Finally, some feminists organizations are urging the Biden administration to "abandon plans" to allow biological males to share locker rooms with women and compete in women's sports… saying it “Unfairly Penalizes” female athletes.

- EXACTLY!!!! It PENAL-izes them!!!

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According to a new poll, 4 in 10 adults admit they have agreed to go home with a potential date specifically to meet that person’s pet.

- These days, everybody wants to date someone with a pet chicken so they can get some free eggs.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick