During a speech in his hometown of Scranton yesterday, President Biden told the crowd that his Uncle “Bosie” was EATEN by CANNIBALS after his plane was shot down over New Guinea during World War II… despite Military Records showing the plane was shot down over the ocean.

- Well… maybe the the Cannibals were Good Swimmers??

- It could have been a kind of “Surf ‘n Turf” kind of thing.

*****

A recent survey finds that 38% of Canadian employees say they spend too much time working… with 52% saying they work more than 40 hours per week.

- Question: Is that 40 hours CANADIAN or 40 hours AMERICAN??

*****

Director Alex Garland’s provocative thriller “Civil War” lit up the box office with $25.7 million in its debut. The movie is set in the not-so-distant future where the United States goes to war against itself.

- And the way things things are going these days… the "not-so-distant future" means “this afternoon”.

*****

A new report says that reality star and stuntman ,Johnny Knoxville recently hinted at the potential for another in his series of “Jackass” movies. So look for "Jackass 5" coming soon to a Theater near you.

- Or you can just ask your kids and grandkids what’s trending on TikTok!

*****

ABC’s “Golden Bachelor” Gerry Turner and his new bride Theresa Nist announced that they’re getting a divorce just three months after getting married. AT 72 and 70 respectively, Gerry and Theresa say they “want different things”.

- For instance… She likes Raisin Bran… while he’s more of a Fiber One guy.

*****

86 men stood side by side at the National Beard and Mustache Championships in Florida, last weekend and had their mustaches clipped together end-to-end to form “The World’s Longest ‘Stache” measuring 195 feet long.

- Two questions:

1) Why?

2) How much alcohol was involved?

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick