Eight top women badminton players from China, South Korea and Indonesia were disqualified from the Olympics for deliberately throwing games to secure a more favorable draw in the next round.
- All five people in the audience said it was obvious.
- The leaders of the three countries denied it, calling it a “Shuttle Cock and Bull Story”.
- This reminds me of the great “Croquet Steroid Scandal” in the 1932 games.
Turns out winning a Gold medal at the Olympics can actually cost you money. According to a report, Americans who win the top prize will owe the IRS up to $8,000. A Silver will cost you a little over 5 grand and around 3 for a Bronze.
- So now you finally know why I’m not an Olympic athlete… I don’t want to pay the taxes.
Bikini-clad Olympic Beach Volleyball star Kerri Walsh is taking antibiotics to treat pinkeye.
- She’s had it for weeks but for some reason nobody, including the doctors, had been looking at her eyes.
An author admittted faking quotes in a book he wrote about Bob Dylan.
- Why would he admit to it? It’s not like anyone can really understand what Bob Dylan says anyway!
- When asked why he did it, he replied, “The answer my friend… is blowin’ in the wind”.
Because of the bad economy, funeral homes are now allowing grieving families to rent a casket for their loved ones.
- This kind of gives new meaning to “You can’t take it with you”.
- Families also have the option of buying the casket on “Lay-A-Way”.
The United Nations wants prostitution to be legalized worldwide.
- Or at least in New York City where the UN ambassadors stay while they’re attending UN meetings.
- The move would help the world’s economy by getting women off the couch and back in bed where they can make some money.
On this day in 1889 San Francisco, Calfornia was invaded by millions of crickets.
- The gay ones bought homes there, the other ones moved to LA.
Have a great day and don’t forget to enter your favorite local charity in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! There’s $40,000 up for grabs! Just click on any one of the Suburban Collection ads on this page to make your nomination!
See you back here Friday with an all-new Podcast!
-Dick
Today starts the Suburban Collection “Great Charity Giveaway”! $40,000 to be given away. Click on any one of the Suburban Collection ads on this page to nominate your favorite local Charity!
Great night at the Olympics last night! The USA won the Women’s Gymnastic Gold Medal (including Michigan’s own Jordyn Wieber), and Michael Phelps won his 19th medal (a Gold) anchoring the men’s 4x200 relay… and became the all-time medal winner in the history of Olympic games!
- Michael’s proud mother was a winner too, looking like she had melted down a few of his medals from the 2004 and 2008 Olympics and turned them into jewelry around her neck.
Time Magazine has singled out 20 of the most influentional Americans in history. The list includes George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Henry Ford and Steve Jobs.
- The Obama administration immediately took credit for creating Steve Jobs.
Fans of “The Who” who held on the their tickets from a show that was cancelled 33 years ago were allowed to trade them-in for tickets to the band’s upcoming reunion tour.
- Of course they’re so old now, most of them said “I’ve got tickets to see the who?”
With the release of his first reggae album, rapper Snoop Dogg announced that he’s changing his name to Snoop Lion and that he believes he’s Bob Marley reincarnated.
- What’s he been smokin’?
- I’m waiting for the day when he announces that he’s Charles Shultz reincarnated and changes his name to “Snoop-y”.
Paramount Pictures has rejected Eddie Murphy’s script for “Beverly Hills Cop 4”.
- Obviously producers realized that no one could top my eleven-second voice over starring role in “Beverly Hills Cop 3”.
A man in Anderson County Tennessee, is facing dometic assault charges for allegegedly punching his girlfriend, because he thought she was having an affair, after she posted a photo of a handsome man on her Facebook page. Turns out the guy in the picture was Mitt Romney.
- This never would have happened if she was a supporter of Newt Gingrich.
- The saddest part of this story is that even if convicted, her boyfriend will be allowed to vote.
More than 670 million people in India - that’s half the country - was without power for almost two days when a power grid crashed.
- Lucky for them, there was one guy in New Delhi who still had phone service and fixed the problem.
An Australian man was treated for burns after he tried to light a firework lodged between his butt cheeks.
- Apparently this guy has the wrong impression of what “Down Under” refers to.
- Don’t even ask where he put his Sparkler…
On this day in 1994 Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley announced that they had been secretly married 11 weeks earlier in the Dominican Republic
- Even those people who believed Elvis was still alive at the time had to admit that hearing that probably killed him.
Don’t forget… Today is Day One of the Suburban Collection “Great Charity Giveaway”! $40,000 to be given away! Click any one of the Suburban Collection ads on this page and nominate your favorite local charity!
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
It’s strike two for Fred Willard… ABC has pulled the last two episodes of his show “Trust Us With Your Life” after his arrest for lewd conduct at an adult movie theater on July 18. He already lost his narrator gig on a public tv show. Willard went on the Jimmy Fallon show and said he was embarrassed by the incident but did nothing wrong. Officials say he may be eligible for a “diversion program” instead of facing formal charges.
- Wasn’t it a “diversion” that got him in trouble in the first place?
- Fallon’s audience gave Fred a big hand… not that he needed it.
There’s a new coffee on the market that is advertised as the most highly caffeinated coffee in the world. If you don’t like it, you can return it within 60 days.
- That is if you can keep your hands steady enough to fill out the return slip.
- Doesn’t the economy have us all jittery enough?
- If you add cream to it, you can technically call it a “Milk Shake”.
A professor of animal behavior said that letting a dog chase a dot from a laser pen could make it go insane.
- This could really put a dent in attendance on “Bring Your Schnauzer To Work Day”.
- But apparenty dogs can chase their own tails unsuccessfully for years with no ill effects.