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Today's Alamanc

On this date in 1841 the venetian blind was patented by John Hampton of New Orleans. 

- And to think critics said his invention would never see the light of day. 

 

I’ll see you back here Wednesday… and don’t forget you only have until this Friday, August 24th to cast your Round One vote in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”. Just click on any one of the SC ads on this page to help decide which local charities will share in $40,000 being given away! 

Have a great day…

-Dick 

 

 

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Assange Hangs Up "Embassy Sweet Embassy" Sign...

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange has been granted asylum in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. If he leaves the building, he’ll be arrested, and is sleeping on an air mattress on the floor.

 

 

- Ironically, the air mattress has a leak.   

- I’m amazed Ecuador came to a decision on his legal status…being on the equator, they’re usually split right down the middle on things.

- On a happy note, Assange gets to live in Ecuadorian embassy for the rest of his life. On a sad note, Assange gets to live in Ecuadorian embassy for the rest of his life. 

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Nuts To You!

UCLA researchers found that eating two handfuls of walnuts a day can boost the quality of sperm. 

- A similar study found that men who have trouble “going” should eat two handfuls of Pee-cans. 

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Hair Today...Gone Tomorrow?

Family practitioner Dr. Emily Gibson says that, to stop the rise of infection caused by shaving and waxing, we need to halt the “war on pubic hair”. 

- A war which has been mainly fought in Brazil. 

- One industry insider called Dr. Gibson a “Nair do well”. 

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Today's Almanac

On this day in 1913 the first pilot to parachute from an aircraft was Adolphe Pegoud of France. 

 

 

- It worked out way better for him than for all the other guys before him who just jumped out of planes.  

 

Have a great day and don’t forget to vote in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! A total of $40,000 is up for grabs! Just click on any SC ad on this page to make your voice heard! First Round voting ends this Friday, August 24th!

See you back here Tuesday…

-Dick  

 

 

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Purtan Podcast #54: "Radio: It's Going Through 'The Change' With Everything But The Hot Flashes"

Today I’m joined by Art Vuolo… who’s known in the broadcast business as “Radio’s Best Friend”. We talk about the heyday of radio - when people carried transistor radios with them everywhere and have now been replaced with iEverythings. We also take a look back — comparing how vastly different radio is today from the way it was. So many changes… some good, but mostly bad. And I tell two stories: One about a waitress who’s one pancake short of a stack when it comes to History, plus a true recounting of the time I sat next to 90-year-old Sonny Eliot as he heckled a stand-up comic… and the comics hilarious comeback. 
So stand-up - or sit down - and tune in to Podcast #54!
Have a great weekend and don’t forget to vote for your favorite local Charity in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! $40,000 is up for grabs. Just click on any SC ad on this page!
  
-Dick 

 

Purtan Podcast #54 (43:47)

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One Job Interview You're Guaranteed To Blow...

Al Qaeda is running an ad on an Internet jobs site to look for suicide bombers. 

- Note: They don’t offer much of a retirement plan. 

- They realized one guy padded his resume when he claimed to already have blown himself up 3 times. 

- Talk about a dead end job.

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Are Joe Biden Rilly That Dumb?

Former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani is questoning whether or not Joe Biden has the “mental capacity” to serve as President if it ever became necessary. He said Biden just isn’t very bright and never has been.

- That’s why Jill Biden always wears those “I’m With Stupid T-Shirts”. 

- Rudy said “Besides… putting people in chains is SO 20th Century!”

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Whatever Happened To "Go Fetch"?

According to a survey, around 3 million dogs across the country are using treadmills. 

- Why? Don’t they get the same amount of exercise chasing their tails? 

- They run really fast if you put a cat on the front end. 

- Joe Biden “chains” his dog to the treadmill so he doesn’t fall off.  

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"You Want Thighs With That?"

In Norway, a woman was arrested for shoplifting after walking out of a store with a 42-inch color TV between her legs. 

- That sounds like something only the Octomom could do. 

- I guess Suzanne Somers was right about the “Thigh-Master”. 

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RIP...

Ron Palillo dead of a heart attack at 63. He played Arnold Horshack on “Welcome Back Kotter”. 

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Today's Almanac

40 years ago today Woodstock was in it’s second day on Max Yasgurs farm in Bethel, NY. There were 24 bands and 400,000 people attended. 

- Only 4 people remember being there.

 

 

Also on this day in 1977, Elvis died. 

- Or so they would have us believe…

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with a brand new Podcast! 

-Dick

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Paul Ryan: Not Your Average Cheesy Politician?

Mitt Romney’s new running-mate Paul Ryan told a group of home-state supporters in Wisconsin that “my veins run with cheese”. 

- So do Dick Cheney’s which is why he’s had so many by-pass surgeries. 

 

 

- He almost said “Blue Cheese” but realized that would make him sound like a Democrat. 

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Bombs Away!

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary added the word “F-Bomb” to the newest edition. 

- Don’t worry, sooner or later they’ll end up dropping it just like Kathy Griffin does every New Year’s Eve. 

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