The newest season of Dancing With The Stars premieres tonight on ABC at 8pm. It’s being billed as an “All-Star” version and welcomes back alums of the show including Bristol Palin, Kirstie Allie and Pam Anderson.
- Is it just me or do Pam Anderson’s dances always look better when you watch them in slow motion?
Today Jackie and I prove that we’re on the “cutting edge” as we welcome Jackie’s hair stylist, Gjoni, to the Podcast. If you’ve ever wondered what women (and yes, men) are willing to confess to their stylist - it’s a must shear… uh… hear! As Gjoni says, he’s “like a Priest with a Blow Dryer”. He also offers inside info on what’s “in” for your hair this season and offers his opinion on the topless pix of Kate Middleton (He doesn’t see anything wrong with it even though she’s the future QUEEN OF ENGLAND!). From why a majority of CEO’s part their hair on the right, to a sure-fire & simple way women can use their locks to look incredibly sexy, it’s all hair… uh here!
The National Enquirer is reporting that Monica Lewinsky is writing a tell-all book about her affair with President Clinton. In the book, Monica will allegedly claim that Bill was into three-somes and sex toys and that he had a sexless marriage and referred to Hillary as “a cold fish”.
- Monica found out about the first couples lack of “romance” when Bill said, “I did not have sex with that woman… Hillary Clinton!”
- Doctors say that Bill’s heart surgery gave him an extra 10 years… but reading this book could shave off a few.
Forbes reports that 7 of the top 10 richest billionaires made their fortunes from scratch.
- Boy, if I was one of the other three who just inherited their billions, I’d be pretty depressed right now.
Tom Jones’ longtime publicist has revealed in his memoirs that he built up the hype for Tom by paying women to throw panties at him while he was performing in Vegas.
- Justin Bieber’s publicist immediately assured the public that when Justin was starting out, the training bras thrown at him were real.
Fans of Lady Gaga found out there’s a lot more of her to love. At a concert there Wednesday night the admittedly plumped up singer admitted that she’s put on about 30 pounds.
- She still wears a dress made out of meat, but instead of Strip Steaks, it’s now made out of Rump Roasts.
McDonald’s is delaying the return of the McRib sandwich until December.
- Nothing says Christmas like boneless pork in BBQ sauce!
- NJ Governor Chris Christie, a big fan of the sandwich, is said to be McMad.
A newly revealed centuries-old papyrus fragment allegedly has Jesus making reference to “my wife”.
- Or maybe it was just a page ripped out of one of Henny Youngman’s jokebooks.
- The news has a lot of celibate priests hot under the collar!
On this day in 1964 the Paramount Theater in New York City presented the Beatles with Steve & Eydie, ending the Beatle’s 1964 US tour.
- The crowd wasn’t too thrilled with Steve and Eydie, but the Beatle’s said “Let It Be”.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with a brand new Podcast!
-Dick
Lindsay Lohan was arrested last night for “leaving the scene of an accident” outside a NYC hotel. She allegedly clipped a pedestrian’s knee while she was parking her Porsche. Lilo said she had no idea she had hit anybody and believe she is “being set up”. She was released without bond and police do not believe alcohol was a factor.
- If they had requested bail, she was planning on paying it with the jewelry she stole last month.
- I’ve got two words for Lindsay: Valet Parking.
Lindsay Lohan shot a love scene with Charlie Sheen for the upcoming “Scary Movie 5” last week.
- Luckily they have the exact same STD’s so nobody got infected!
- The director said they were both great with their lines… Of course he was talking about lines of Cocaine.
Researchers predict that by 2030, more than half the people in the US will be obese.
- The government has a plan to put an end to this epidemic by outlawing bathroom scales.
- So I guess this means Michael Moore is a man ahead of his time.
Starting in November, Disney World’s Magic Kingdom will serve wine and beer at a new restaurant based on “Beauty and the Beast”.
- At first park officials thought the idea was Goofy… but then realized it was actually Goofy’s idea.
- So now you not only have to be loaded to afford a trip to Disney World, you can get loaded while you’re there!
Danish nursery workers are offering free childcare so busy parents can find the time to have sex.
- So the kids can read “Humpty Dumpty” while their Mother gets goosed!
While giving birth, Kourtney Kardashian says that she actually pulled the baby out herself.
- She’s like a magician! “For my next trick… watch me pull a baby out of my…”
- And you thought the Kardashians didn’t have any talent!
On this day in 1854 the sleeping car on trains was patented by Henry B. Meyer.
- Later the concept was perfected in cars by a drugged-out George Michael.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
Things are heating up in the Kwame Kilpatrick Corruption Trial. The judge hopes to seat a jury of 12 (with 6 alternates) Wednesday which would mean opening arguments could begin Thursday.
- Kwame is still fighting for a true “jury of his peers”… but like Monica Conyers and Rod Blagojevich are in prison.
A French court has ordered a gossip magazine to cease printing any more topless photos of the future Queen of England, Kate Middleton, and ruled that they must hand over all copies of the photo to the Palace.
- Which might explain Prince Harry’s sudden interest in scrapbooking.
Meanwhile, the gossip rag has hinted that it has even more “intimate” pix of Kate along with her husband William having sex.
- If they really want to embarrass the Royal Family they should release photos of Charles and Camilla having sex.
Acccording to a recent online survey, G.I. Joe was voted the number one toy of the 20th Century.
- Barbie came in fourth — things have really been going downhill for her since her Malibu Dream House went into foreclosure.
A study at the University of Amsterdam found that people who are sexually aroused preform better in critical thinking tests than those who are not.
- This gives a whole new meaning to college students “pulling an all-nighter”.
- However the study warns that if you remain good at critical thinking for more than four hours, call your doctor.