Hope your Halloween was a good one… and now on to November!
A Sign Of The Times
Saturday, a big crowd gathered in Washington for Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert’s “Rally to Restore Sanity/Fear”. There were a lot of funny signs promoting non-partisan moderation like, “Death to Extremists”, “I Feel Strongly Both Ways” and “I Have A Sign”.
- Turns out the “I Feel Strongly Both Ways” sign wasn’t about bi-partisanship… it was held up by a bi-sexual guy from Royal Oak.
The only real controversy came from the appearance by Yusef Islam, formerly singer Cat Stevens. Critics said he was a poor representation of non-partisan moderation considering he backed the Islamic death fatwa against Salman Rushdie for writing “The Satanic Verses”.
- Salmon Rushdie did not attend the rally as he is still in hiding. Apparently he’s still afraid he’s being followed by a “moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow”.
“Reach Out And Overhear Someone”
The news reporters at a TV station in Anchorage, Alaska are under fire because their editor, Nick McDermott apparently doesn’t know how to hang up an iPhone. McDermott left a voicemail for a rep for Republican Senate candidate Joe Miller and unknowingly left his phone connected while his staff held a meeting. Miller’s rep got a recording of reporters talking about creating negative stories by trying to find any sex offender in the crowd at a Miller rally and hoping there was some kind of chaos so they could say the Republican had been punched out. It prompted Sarah Palin to call the station’s reporters “corrupt bastards”.
- Which is the same thing she said about the judges on DWTS when they gave Bristol a low score for her Rumba.
- So let me get this straight… some media outlets are biased?????
- The editor’s lack of ability to hang up the phone has led to a new term: An iDiot.
Book ‘em Dano!
Ontario recently passed laws banning the use of cell phones and other gadgets while driving, but they forgot more traditional distractions. Last week, police near Toronto got a call at 2:39a.m. reporting a car weaving down the center strip of Highway 401. It turned out to be a man driving with his interior lights on while reading a book.
- To be fair, he thought “Books-on-Tape” meant you were supposed to tape a book to your dashboard.
- If he had both hands on the wheel, the cops are wondering what he used to turn the pages.
- Maybe he was just up early studying for his driver’s test scheduled for 7a.m. at the Department of Motor Vehicles.
If He’d Just Switch to Pepsi!
Charlie Sheen’s manager has dismissed a tabloid claim that Sheen is on a coke and hooker bender that could kill him within a week. He said he went to Sheen’s house and found him sitting on the couch eating a turkey sandwich, looking “as normal as he’s looked in a long time.” Sheen told him he was fine, but had to go out soon to buy candy because so many trick-or-treaters come to his house.
- I’m sure a lot of tricks show up… I’m not so sure about the treats.
- Charlie gives full-size candy bars to hookers who show up dressed as cheerleaders.
Is Bill Maher’s Show Going To Pot?
Friday on Bill Maher’s show, “Real Time,” comic Zach Galifianakis shocked the other guests by lighting up a real joint on the air to show his support for Prop 19 that would legalize pot in California.
- That’s one way to get “higher” ratings.
- Bill Maher was said to be shocked. He only smokes pot in his dressing room before the show.
- Charlie Sheen said he was “disgusted by the display” and turned the show off!
Today’s Almanac
On this day in 1896, National Geographic magazine ran it’s first photo of a bare-breasted native woman.
- The very next day, Bill Clinton’s great, great grandfather locked himself in the outhouse for 7 hours.
Then on the same day in 1982, the Playboy Channel was launched.
- The very next day, Bill Clinton had a TV installed in his bathroom.
Have a great day and don’t forget to register for your chance to win tickets to dinner and “Johnny Trudell & his Orchestra Salute the Decades” this Friday at Andiamo Celebrity Showroom in Warren. Just go to: dickpurtan.com/contest for all the info! Winners will be announced Thursday!
See you right back here tomorrow - Election Day!
-Dick