Hats Off to Mr. Song…
Who could forget the famous hat that Aretha Franklin wore while singing at the President’s inauguration? Gray, decorated with a gigantic bow, the hat was designed by Luke Song, a hat maker right here in Detroit. Now Mr. Song is suing two other hat manufacturers for ripping off his design.
- I say, show the man some R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
- Unfortunately, the imitation hats have been flying off the shelves… Literally!
*****
If the centerfold in the June Playboy looks out of focus, don’t worry: it’s just printed in 3D. Hugh Hefner says he wanted to get in on the 3D craze and will include special glasses in each issue so men can enjoy Playmate Hope Dworaczyk to the fullest.
- When Playboy readers see that out-of-focus picture, they’l think, “Damn, it’s true! Doing this DOES make you go blind…”
- This is a great way to go from double-D to triple-D without surgery!
*****
Betty White’s stellar performance on Saturday Night Live has led to a new Facebook campaign. So far 11,000 people have signed up hoping to get Betty hired as host of the next Academy Awards.
- She’ll be 89 at the time of the broadcast. But hey, if she keels over it’s not like she’d be the first Oscar host to die on stage!
- Some people even want Betty to run for President. Her slogan would be… “I’ve been through the Change… and you can believe it”.
*****
Larry King and his 8th wife Shawn have officially announced that they are calling off their divorce despite reports that she’s been sleeping with their kid’s baseball coach and Larry has been having an affair with his wife’s sister. They issued a statement saying, “we love our children, we love each other, we love being a family”.
- Larry especially loves his sister-in-law…
- Shawn even loves their sons’ baseball coach on alternating Wednesdays and Fridays.
- If I’m not mistaken, this exact scenario is one of the sub-plots on “Desperate Housewives”.
*****
Coca-Cola is introducing a revolutionary new soft drink vending machine call the Freestyle. Using touch-screen technology, it allows you to custom-design your beverage using various combinations of regular and diet pops, sparkling waters, sports drinks and flavorings. They say there are 104 different possible combinations.
- But are any of them Caffeine-Free?????
- This machine can make you chocolate Gatorade with a hint of Mt. Dew… but it still won’t accept a dollar bill with a microscopic crease in the corner.
- I’d prefer a machine you don’t have to kick to get your Cheetos to fall off the rack…
*****
The Los Angeles City Council voted 13 to 1 to boycott Arizona. They claim that if Arizona’s new law allowing police to ask if someone is an illegal alien is not repealed, the city may cancel 8 million dollars in contracts with Arizona companies – including those for tasers, surveillance services and helicopters.
- But if they get rid of the helicopters, how are we going to watch all the high-speed chases between L.A. cops and illegal immigrants?
*****
Police in Detroit found a truck that was stolen earlier this week from the corporate headquarters of “Lover’s Lane” adult products in Plymouth. The van had contained $10,000 worth of sex toys and lingerie. Of course, when the cops found vehicle, the merchandise was gone.
- The whole town is a-buzz over it.
- The van had been “stripped” cleaned.
- Police say they don’t have a suspect… well I’ve got two words for them: Big Al.