Bill Clinton Back in the Oval Office. (I hope it was a supervised visit!)
Yesterday President Obama met with both investment guru Warren Buffett and Bill Clinton regarding the current state of the economy. Clinton was the last Democratic President who presided over budget surpluses and was seen as pro-business, so Obama invited him back to the Oval Office to give him some tips.
But only economic tips. Although Bill said he’d also be happy to offer the President dating tips. And that’s when the First Lady stepped in and ended the meeting.
Bill later offered an apology over his attire. Reportedly he wore shorts, sandals and a “Parrot Head” t-shirt because he thought he was meeting with Jimmy Buffet, not Warren Buffet.
Love is a Many Splendored Thing…
In a shocking announcement, Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol told Us Magazine that she and baby daddy Levi Johnston are engaged again! Johnston recently apologized to the Palin family for lying about them and posing nude in Playgirl. 19-year-old Bristol said the announcement would come as a surprise to her mom, too, because the thought of her reaction would be too “intimidating and scary” for them to tell her in advance.
When Sarah Palin heard the news she grabbed her rifle, made Levi dress up as a moose, and gave him a five-minute head start.
Bristol and Levi don’t plan on expanding their family anytime too soon. As a matter of fact, until they’re officially married, they only plan on rubbing noses together.
From the You Can’t Make This Up Department…
A policeman in Munster (I love their cheese), Germany, won an extra week of vacation to compensate him for the time he spends getting dressed. Martin Schauder calculated that it took him 15 minutes a day to put on his full uniform and weapons before work, and 15 minutes to take it off afterwards. He said that added up to 45 hours a year of overtime that he should be paid for. When his bosses refused, he took it to the city’s administrative court and WON AN EXTRA WEEK OF VACATION TIME EACH YEAR!
Finally, women will be making twice as much men for the same job. (Just kidding, no e-mails please!)
In fairness though, don’t you think the officer should DEDUCT a half-hour for casual Fridays?
And This Little Piggy Went to the Hospital…
Monday in Gurnee, Illinois, two off-duty employees at Six Flags Great America theme park were held by security and charged with battery for allegedly beating up Porky Pig. Witnesses say the two young men took a photo with a colleague dressed as Porky Pig, then suddenly began punching “the pig” in the head 10 to 15 times. The head was large and padded, but the mascot suffered headaches and a stiff neck.
…And a stutter.
Please feel free to chime in with your own corny jokes. Here’s ours…
The two employees were sentenced to two years in the pen…pig pen.
They were also charged with threatening to “spiral slice” the mascot.
When the pig mascot was asked if the two employees did anything else wrong, the pig replied… “ba-dee, ba-dee, be-dee-that’s all, folks!”
Yep, that’s all folks! Get ready for the weekend! See you tomorrow!
Dick