Troubled In Tinseltown…
One of the hottest rising stars in Hollywood was a no-show at last night’s invitation-only Red Carpet Premiere of the new TV series “Detroit 1-8-7” at the MGM Grand. While many of the shows lead actors including Michael Imperioli (Christopher on “The Sopranos”) and James McDaniel (Lt. Fancy on N.Y.P.D. Blue) mingled on the red carpet with local dignitaries Mayor Dave Bing and City Council President Charles Pugh – one familiar face was conspicuously absent: Big Al Muskovito.
Muskovito, known to many of you as “Big Al” on my radio show landed the plum, career-making role of a Polish band leader on the show’s first episode which airs September 21st. After several failed attempts at reaching him through his publicist, I realized I should just try his cell phone. He picked up on the first ring and, mouth full of scrambled eggs, muttered something about how great it was to hear from one of the “little people” and then mentioned something about getting his number changed.
I asked him why he hadn’t attended the premiere – after all, he does have five – yes – FIVE LINES in the upcoming episode. “I’m sick of all the hype,” he said. “I’m a private person who just happens to love acting. I’m not into the whole ‘Hollywood thing’.”
“So you weren’t invited?” I said. “Bingo,” he responded. “I mean what a load of crap! My role may have been small but it’s pivotal to the plot! Well, maybe not exactly pivotal,” he added, admitting that he wasn’t really sure what that word meant, but had heard it once on one of the Cable news shows. “I even had my powder-blue tux dry cleaned and had neck extenders put in the collar of my best dickey – and then I get dissed”.
So instead of hob-nobbing with the glitterati, he did what he usually does on Tuesday night. Went out for ribs, then went home and watched Cinemax!
And Now On With The News!
According to a Social Science Journal, Americans are in love with the idea of “soul mates”. The news is based on a new Marist poll, which found that two-thirds of Americans believe that somewhere, there is that one special someone they are destined to be with.
And not surprisingly, it’s not the person they’re married to!
Of course men and women have different definitions of the word “soulmate”… For women, it’s someone they can share their innermost thoughts with, and for men, it’s a girl with big boobs who’s half his age.
Men like to think that somewhere out there, there is that one special woman who is destined to meet them and take away half of everything they own.
LITTLE KNOWN COMPLETELY UNTRUE FACT: Dr. Scholl met his “Solemate” at a podiatrists office.
You Put Your Right Foot In…
Researchers in England claim they’ve figured out what type of dance moves men should use to attract women. After intense research, they found most woman prefer strong central body motions, and men who do wider and bigger movements of the head, neck and torso.
So basically this means women are turned-on by the guys in “The Village People”???
I think Elvis proved the whole “strong central body movement” part about fifty years ago. So did Fats Domino and Chubby Checker!
“Lady Gaga… She’s What’s For Dinner”
Lady Gaga has ticked off PETA (The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) by appearing on the cover of Vogue’s Japanese Magazine wearing nothing but pieces of raw meat shaped roughly into the form of a bikini.
Knowing Lady Gaga, I’ll bet they used Strip Steaks.
If it had been Kim Kardashian, they would have had to use a Rump Roast. A really, really big one!
Didn’t Elton John do something like this when he was knighted by Queen Elizabeth? Of course he wore a bathing suit made of “Sir Loin”!!!
Oprah Win-Free…
On this date in 1986, “The Oprah Winfrey Show made its television debut.
And everyone in the audience received a free 2 inch-long Matchbox Car! (Hey… she had a small promotions budget in those days.)
Believe it or not, during the very first episode Oprah managed to gain, then lose 10 pounds!
An 80-Year Old “Strip-er”
And on this day in 1930, “Blondie” by Chic Young first appeared in the comic strips.
Word on the street is that Dagwood is writing a shocking new tell-all in which he admits she’s not a natural “Blondie”!
Have a great day and we’ll see you right back here tomorrow!
- Dick