Archeologists plan to excavate under a former convent in Florence, Italy, for the remains of the Mona Lisa. The Leonardo da Divinci painting is believed to be a portrait of a wealthy merchant’s wife, Lisa Gherardini, 
but there are rumors that it could be anyone from a streetwalker to Da Vinci himself in drag. They hope to find enough fragments of Gherardini’s skull to reconstruct her face and compare it to the Mona Lisa.
- Somewhere up in Heaven I’m sure Lisa Gherardini is smiling…not a really big smile, just kind of a little one.
- There’s another rumor going around that the woman in the famous Whistler’s Mother painting was actually actor Anthony Perkins in drag! (Cue the “Psycho” sound effect, please) “Mother, stop yelling at me! Mother, please!!!”
THIS JUST IN! BREAKING NEWS!…The “suspected” remains of Mona Lisa have just been recovered and it’s, it’s, OMG…Jimmy Hoffa!
P.S. I know there’s a good “DA VINCI CODE” joke in there somewhere, but I’m having writer’s block. If you think of one, post it on Dick’s Facebook Page!