Author Joe McGuinness was called a stalker after he rented a house right next to Sarah Palin while he wrote a tell-all book about her. It comes out September 20th… but the National Enquirer paid to print some of the “shocking claims” early. Among them: Before she became Guv, Palin was once seen snorting cocaine off an overturned oil drum.
- Well this proves it! There IS oil in Alaska!
- Actually, McGuinness claims that she was caught inhaling from an Alaskan “Crack” Pipeline.
- McGuinness spent most of his time writing the book at the local “Caribou Coffee Shop”.
Another alleged revelation: that when Palin was an unmarried sports reporter, she allegedly seduced Glen Rice into a one-night stand. 
The black NBA star was then a University of Michigan Junior in town to play the University of Alaska. A year later, U of M lost a shocking upset to Alaska when Rice missed three free throws, so wags joked that maybe Sarah wore him out to help her home state’s basketball team.
- Democrats claim she’s Nome for doing that kind of thing.
- In Alaska the word “seduce” is defined as “threatening someone with a shotgun.”
- The biggest shocker in the book is when McGuiness admited that he too could see Russia from his house!