New details in the General Petraeus Sex Scandal are surfacing faster than Shamu during the Friday Fish Fry at SeaWorld.
I’ve posted a flow chart to help you keep track of the players (and I do mean players!)
In the meantime… General Petraeus annouced this morning that he will voluntarily testify at the hearings about the events in Benghazi.
- At this point he’ll agree to do anything that will get him away from his wife for a few hours.
*****
Petraeus could face criminal charges for sharing classified information with his biographer/mistress Paula Broadwell.
- You say “Classified Information” he says “Pillow Talk”.
- See ladies! This explains why men never want to talk after sex when you say, “What are you thinkin’ about?”.
*****
The Petraeus Plot has gotten even thicker after it was revealed that the FBI agent who investigated Jill Kelly’s claim that she was receiving threatening emails from Paula Broadwell, had previously sent Kelly topless photos of himself.
- Am I the last one to know that Anthony Weiner is working for the FBI?
*****
Meanwhile… the investigation into Marine General John Allen, who took over command of the troops in Afghanistan when Petraeus left to head the CIA, is still under investigation for enchanging thousands of pages of “innapropriate” emails with Jill Kelly - the one who exposed Petraeus’ affair with Broadwell.
- I had no idea our Generals were so interested in Privates!
*****
The 23-year-old man who accused Kevin Clash…aka… “Elmo” from Sesame Street of having a sexual relationship with him when he was underage has retracted his accusations. He now says he was of age when it began and it was a relationship between two consenting adults.
- And one fuzzy, red puppet.
- Bert & Ernie are said to be a little dissappointed that Clash, who is openly gay, never even made a pass at them.
*****
On this day in 1908 Albert Einstein presented his Quantum Theory of Light.
- If he’d wanted people to actually read it, he should have named it his “Quantum Theory of Fifty Shades of Light Grey”.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick