Obama and Romney are having lunch together today.
- Romney wouldn’t tell Obama exactly what he wanted for lunch, saying he’ll wait until he gets to the White House.
- Obama is charging Romney for lunch because he’s in the “Top 1%”.
*****
There were two winners in the $500-plus Million Powerball Lottery drawing. One person in Arizona and one in Missouri will split the big pot.
- NEWSFLASH: I didn’t win.
*****
The NFL fined Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh 30 grand for kicking Houston Texans quarterback Matt Schaub in the groin.
- Schaub called it a “great settlement package”.
- Suh also got a speeding ticket this week…but wisely decided against kicking the cop in the groin.
*****
Richard Williamson, the Apple executive who oversaw development of their screwed up “map software” has been fired.
- They had a hell of a time finding him to give him his pink slip.
*****
A new study finds that female porn stars have highter self-esteem than other women.
- And much bigger breasts.
- The study also found that the female porn stars had low IQ’s but high STD’s.
*****
From the “Strange Story Department”… Allegedly Genetic testing has confirmed that the legendary Bigfoot is a human relative.
- No kidding! He used to be married to my sister!
- They were lucky enough to get a genetic sample off a pair of size 57 snow boots he tried on at Target.
*****
During the Soul Train Awards Jamie Foxx gave thanks to the “Lord and Savior” Barack Obama.
- To show his thanks, after the show, Obama took Foxx out for a last, I mean, late supper.
- Now I understand the meaning of the term “Crazy Like a Foxx”.
*****
According to Consumer Reports, about one-fifth of the U.S. pork they tested contained a growth hormone.
- An industry spokesman says they just use the drug to help pigs who have torn hamstrings.
- Looks like the “Little Piggy who went to market” was picking up more than slop!
*****
On the Today Show, Willie Nelson told Matt Lauer he hasn’t seen any harmful effects of smoking marijuana.
- He then thanked Katie Couric for taking the time to interview him.
*****
On this day in 1922 two archeologists discovered the tomb of King Tut.
- It wasn’t until years later that Steve Martin revealed that Tut had been born in Arizona and moved to Babalonia.
*****
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here with an all new Podcast Friday!
- Dick