PETA is in court suing Sea World on behalf of five killer whales at the San Diego Park. They claim that the whales deserve the same constitutional protection from slavery as humans, and they’re slaves because they are forced to live in tanks and perform daily. The attorney for Sea World said the founders did not include killer whales in “we the people” when the Constitution was adopted.  

- Of course back then, they didn’t realize that “We the People” would end up looking like Whales after a lifetime of eating Quarter Pounders with Cheese and Fries. 

- Some whales are semi human… Take Michael Moore for instance. 

- PETA is also lobbying to have a red ball balanced on the nose of the official Presidential Seal. 

- The whales live in tanks and perform daily… just like the female wrestlers used to do at the old “Zoo Lounge” on Eight Mile. (Don’t ask me how I know this.) Actually we filmed a segment there for my Comedy Special on Channel 4 back in the 80’s.

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