Oprah Winfrey said that after her Lance Armstrong interview they were both “exhausted and satisfied”.

- Did she interview him or is she sleeping with him???

*****

There’s a lot of buzz on the Internet over who should play Lance Armstrong in a move about his steroid scandal. 

- If they can just get Charlie Sheen sobered up enough to ride a bike…

*****

- The government wants to put stricter laws in place to prevent the mentally ill from getting guns. 

- So at least we’ll know that anyone in Hollywood who’s crazy enough to hire Lindsay Lohan won’t be packin’. 

***** 

Bill Clinton says Hillary is so healthy, she calls him her “first husband” because she knows she’ll outlive him. 

- We’ll yeah…that’s because she’ll be the one to kill him if she catches him cheating again. 

- I have a feeling that no matter how long Bill Clinton lives, he’s gonna die with a smile on his face. 

***** 

On the anniversary of the Costa Concordia cruise ship capsizing off the coast of Italy, the Captain told NBC that he has “no regrets” about his actions. Remember, he was giving his “date” a tour of the ship and accidentally “fell” into a lifeboat during the incident. 

- Somebody doesn’t have both oars in the water if you know what I mean. 

- He shouldn’t have been sailing in the Mediteranean…he should have been sailing in De-Nile. 

***** 

Facebook is adding a new search engine to match up people like a dating site does. 

- Changes to the existing facebook will include nothing. 

- Maybe this is how Oprah got the Lance Armstrong interview. 

- Guys…if you date one your “fake” female facebook friends, chances are she’ll carry the “faking” thing a bit too far. 

*****

According to a Men’s Health survey, the top female occupations that inspire the most fantasies for men are nurse and teacher. 

- Which means if you’re a school nurse, there are thousands of men fantasizing about you right now. 

- The least fantasy-inspiring profession was “Lorena Bobbitt Impersonator”. 

*****

On this day in 1998 Paula Jones accused President Bill Clinton of sexual harassment. 

- He denied it saying he was way to busy having an affair with Gennifer Flowers to harrass anyone!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with an all-new Podcast! (#70!)

-Dick

 

 

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