It’s so cold that…
…Frosty the Snowman hopped a plane to Bermuda.
…The hookers on Eight Mile are wearing fishnet snowpants.
…If you write LMAO on facebook, it might actually happen.
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It is believed that President Obama’s inaugural speech was the first in Presidential history to include a reference to a gay bar.
- Unless you include Abraham Lincoln’s little known “Getty’s Burger & Beefcake Address” back in the 1800’s.
- Actually, Obama was just giving a shout out to Bernie Frank’s favorite hang out.
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During coverage of the Inauguration, ABC’s George Stephanopoulos mistakenly identified legendary NBA star Bill Russell as actor Morgan Freeman.
- He immediately called Morgan Freeman and asked for a Shawshank Redemption.
- George is usually the one who gets mistaken for someone else…one of the Seven Dwarfs.
- Hey…at least he knew who the President was, unlike Joe Biden.
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The Transportation Security Administration announced that they’re pulling the plug on nude airport scanners that produce a full-body image of travelers.
- Apparently Chris Christie has taken one too many flights.
- TSA agents say they’d way rather do invasive body pat downs than look at some naked photos!
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A Harvard geneticist says he’s close to developing technology that could clone a Neanderthal.
- Joey Buttafucco has been asked to make a donation at the local sperm bank.
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A private funeral service was held for advice columnist “Dear Abby” who died last week at the age of 94.
- Ironically her last piece of advice was, “You can skip the meds Doctor…I’m feeling fine.”
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On this day in 1901 Queen Victoria died at the age of 82. She ruled England for 64 years.
- And launched a highly successful line of lingerie stores.
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Have a great day…stay warm…and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick
P.S. Don’t forget to check out my latest Podcast (#70) with former “Purtan’s Person” Joe Noune! He shares some dating stories that make Manti Te’o’s lovelife seem normal! (You can find it on the homepage.)