Things are getting ugly on Captitol Hill… After Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid accused Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner of running a “dictatorship”, Boehner fired back. He told Reid to “Go F—- Yourself” not once, but twice.
- They’re like the cast of “Jersey Shore” without the suntans.
*****
Doctors say they expect Hillary Clinton to recover completely after being treated for a blood clot in her head.
- Upon hearing the good news, Bill Clinton cancelled his date and took Hillary out for dinner to celebrate.
*****
Two major weight loss programs, Jenny Craig and Medi-Fast, say they won’t be signing Kim Kardashian up as a post-pregnancy weight loss spokeswoman after she gives birth to Kanye West’s baby. They say they’re going after “real woman” and Kim is just “not real enough”.
- A spokesperson for Jenny Craig said the company could however “help her drop two “butt sizes” in just three weeks!”
*****
The new trend in movie theaters is “tweet seats” - a special section of the theater for people who like to use social media during the show.
- That way you can set up dates on eHarmony.com while the bozo your currently dating is watching the film.
- Remember the good old days when people just annoyed you by talking during the movie?
*****
Experts say that “Post-Holiday Depression” affects about 8 million Americans.
- Luckily, we have Ground Hog’s Day to look forward to!
*****
On this date in 1847 the California town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco.
- The move was made after dissapointing sales of “Rice-a-Roni…The Yerba Buena Treat!”
*****
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with the first Podcast of 2013!
-Dick