TIGERS ROOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRED BACK WITH THE BIG BATS FINALLY BOOMING TO TIE SERIES WITH THE A's 2 GAMES A PIECE! DECIDING GAME 5 THURSDAY NIGHT IN OAKLAND. (8:07pm our time!)
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Tom Hanks explained his slimmed down figure by revealing that he was recently diagnosed with Type II Diabetes.
- As they say, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get!"
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Despite the government shutdown, the official congressional gym remains open.
- It's considered essential because a lot of the congressmen need the pool to continue to tread water.
- They kept it open so the congress people could keep up their cardio workouts...Assuming they actually have hearts to keep healthy.
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The leader of al Qaeda is blaming the U.S. for global warming.
- So it's not the heat of the thousands of bombs they're blowing up every five minutes, it's your lawn mower.
- You can tell it's actually being caused by al Qaeda because the biggest Carbon Footprint is in the shape of a sandal.
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An 89-year-old drug "mule" pled guilty in a Detroit Courtroom. He's allegedly been transporting cocaine for a Mexican Cartel to Chicago for years.
- He's so old he used to date "Francis the Mule" (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)
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A new survey finds that only 46% of Americans have read a book in the last year.
- And of that 46% that did read a book...all 46% most likely read "Shades of Grey".
- It's gotten so bad that even criminals won't read the book the judge throws at them.
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A school district right here in Michigan approved a no tag, no chasing policy for kindergartners.
- However adults will still be allowed to play phone tag...for now.
- Up next: PETA will protest for an end to "Duck, Duck, Goose!"
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Vladimir Putin was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- He was nominated by Vladimir Putin.
- And Edward Snowden.
- And Dennis Rodman.
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! And GO TIGERS!!!
-Dick