Kim Jong Un executed his former girlfriend, and 12 other performers for allegedly releasing provocative videos of themselves, but experts say Un’s wife was jealous of his former flame’s popularity. His ex was best known for her 2005 hit song “Very Excellent Horse-Like Lady”. 

- Suddenly having an ex boyfriend say something mean about you on Facebook doesn’t sound so bad. 

- Un refers to his wife as “the old ball, chain, and firing squad commmander”. 

*****

Business is down at brothels in Nevada forcing the “ladies” to offer discounts on their services. Madams blame the decline of “customers” to the high price of diesel fuel, leaving truck drivers with less money to spend.

- Nowadays of course  they can just go online an watch Miley Cyrus “twerk” for free. 

- Another problem is the guys are using “Groupons” so they can get two-lap dances for the price of one…of course in this business the “Groupons” are known as “Grope-ons”.

*****

Funeral directors in Detroit received an e-mail from the city back in July saying they could no longer provide them with Death Certificates because they ran out of paper and couldn’t afford to buy any. The shortage only lasted five days. 

- So the good news is, if you died in Detroit during the second week of July, technically, you’re still alive!!!

*****

The White House has asked Bill Clinton to give a major speech explaining how Obamacare works.  

- He’ll deliver it as soon as they can find someone who actually knows how it works and can explain it to Bill. 

- Bill did say he that supports Obamacare because it involves “medical interns”. 

*****

A new study finds that people who work more than 50 hours a week are making themselves physically and mentally ill. 

- This explains why everybody in the US Congress is fit as a fiddle! 

*****

Every single one of the nearly 25,000 candidates to the University of Liberia failed the schools admission exam. 

- So now the only people attending the school will be the football players. 

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with an fellow radio buddy of mine on a brand new Podcast!

-Dick 

Comment