Charlie Marcuse, The “Singing Hot Dog Man” from Comerica Park has been let-go for allegedly discouraging people from putting ketchup instead of mustard on the dogs he sells as a vendor. (I had him on my show many times!) Charlie is a “Mustard Man” but after 15 years the Sports Service Union has finally put it’s foot down on his public displays of condiment preferences.
- So now he’ll be singing for his supper instead of yours!
- Apparently after receiving three complaints, the managment said, “You’re Out!”.
- Charlie is seeking Asylum in France…chanting “French’s Mustard!” as he was led out of Comerica Park.
*****
Four NFL “Centers” have signed on to promote an alternative to toilet paper. The new pre-moistend bathroom wipes are called “One Wipe Charlies” and will be targeted directly at men.
- The Quarterbacks are behind the Centers 100%.
*****
The Vatican has opened the door to the possibility of letting priests get married.
- There will be limits: The happy couple will only be allowed to register at “Lord & Taylor”.
- Just like any other husband, a preist will have to make sure he doesn’t come home with lipstick on his collar.
*****
The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency banned an 80-year-old weightlifter for 2 years.
- Apparently they consider Metamucil a Performing Enhancing Drug.
- The guy is 80 years old so a 2-year suspension basically means he’s been banned for life.
*****
A new report says the White House is infested with vermin. This time cockroaches are the problem, but in the past they’ve also dealt with mice and rats.
- Of course that’s just when they invited members of Congress to a State Dinner.
*****
Elton John said that despite being the godmother to his two young sons, Lady Gaga is in “a very dangerous place” and won’t return his phone calls.
- Turns out she accidentally turned off her phone when she went to the butcher shop to try on some dresses.
*****
Billboard’s Women in Music Awards has named Pink “Women of the Year”.
- They awarded the “Pole Dancer of the Year” to Miley Cyrus.
*****
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick