Arizona Senator John McCain was caught by a photographer playing poker on his iPhone during yesterday’s Congressional hearing on Syria. McCain admitted he’d been gaming during the event, tweeting that the worst part was “I lost!”

- The media immediately blamed his poker loss on Sarah Palin. 

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After 3 1/2 hours of testimony urging Congress to approve military action in Syria, the Congressional panel says they’re “close” to making a decision. 

- They’re even closer to making a decision to vote themselves a pay raise!

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A woman in China turned herself in after boiling her dead husband in a pressure cooker. 

- Like so many marriages, it started out Sweet and ended up Sour. 

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Speaking of China, a man there has invented a new device to help men who have bad aim when it comes to using public urinals. The device is called the “Pee Straight”. 

- You can also use it to write your name more legibly in the snow. 

- North Korea’s Kim Jong Un has asked the guy if he can create a similar device to help his firing squads hit their targets better.  

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If you’ve noticed Jack Nicholson hasn’t been in any movies lately, it’s because he decided to quietly retire from acting back in 2010. Insiders say memory problems make it too hard for him to remember his lines. 

- Hey, at his age, you figure “Something’s Got To Give”. 

- Doctors say he started having memory problems on purpose after doing that naked hot tub scene with Kathy Bates. 

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A former employee of Facebook claims there is no privacy at the company. 

- He says management put up a post when he was terminated that said “We just fired Bob! Can we get 100,000 Likes in an hour?”

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

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